A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am female just turning 41. I have been involved 2 marriages since i was 18 and have had a domestic violence marriages. I am aware of attracting those kind of man and have been working on that problem. My issue is now that I have been involved with new partner for the past 3 years and have just only found out he has compulsive lying problem, he admitted to me and is not getting physiological help. He has lied to me for the past 3 years that he is dying from cancer, has 6 months to live and so many other lies. I have finally found out most of the lies but am not loosing interest in him, including sex and also just as I start trusting him he lies again and kills my new attempted to believe him. I have been so suspicious about him and have been fearing he is having an affair. I am not sure how to go about this as once was madly in love with this beautiful man. I love him so much but am not in love with him anymore due to all the lies. We have just got engaged but not sure why, I want happiness but am so afraid all the time. What do I do, please help.Kind Regards
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Getting psychological treatment is a great start. Look at his lying as an act of a cause derived from something else. Lying is not the issue, it's a symptom. The part of his lying that really points to a much greater issue is the abnormality of it. Six months to live. Having cancer, etc. Why this desire for sympathy? Why can't the relationship just work without bringing in these abnormalities?
I highly recommend he gets treatment. I believe he needs to build skills to control this behavior, to learn to grow social relationships without the dependent need. I also recommend you see counseling to overcome what this is doing to you and what your past has caused. If you love him this much, maybe this is a process you can do together.
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