A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey allI'm 16 almost 17 and I'm talking to this 19 year old... She thinks I'm a bit older - 18. I think she wants a casual relationship thing. I want to know a couple of things:1. Do other people find that weird?2. To the women, are you put off by differences like that?3. How should I break my real age to her?4. Any other advice/opinions people haveThanks for the help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): Did she assume you were 18 years old or did you tell her? Either way, tell her your real age and get that out of the way - it's easy done, just tell her there's something she needs to know and go from there. The age gap is only a couple of years and whilst some girls might find that a downer, no doubt there's others that don't. With any luck she won't mind. She will mind if you lied to her though.
I had my first sexual encounter at the age of sixteen and the girl was nineteen, so there's your proof that it's not an impossible situation.
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (8 May 2009):
Well when I was 19, I wouldnt consider dating some who is 16 or 17. You may not realise it now, but by the time you too are 19 you would have grown up and matured alot. In fact, you will change so much just within the next 6 -12months of your life. As much as you try to be as mature and have the life of a 19 year old, its just not possible.
However, she may not see it that way, you never know! If you truly do like this girl then you owe it to her to tell her the truth. If you want things to go any further, you should tell her.
There is no easy way of doing that unfortunately. I guess the best way is to just sit down with her face to face and say you have something to tell her, then say it...explain why you lied about your age, hopefully she will understand. Show that your sorry for lieing as well.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 yeah girls do like not really like guys that are like 16 17 we feel its a bit too young sorry.
i'm 20 and i would feel awkward and im sure she would too.
you're just going to have to tell her that you told her you were 18 because you liked her but that your real age is like 16-17 she'll appreciate your honesty but she will probably be mad fora bit.
but we do find age being younger a bit of a downer.
but she may be different.
but no harm in just telling her the truth
you never know she maybe different that some girls and like you for you.
but you shouldn't have lied about your age because now she may feel you could like lie about other stuff.
but don't give up still tell her and maybe she'll still like you.
hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 1 - The strangest thing about the situation is that you're lying to her. I will be honest, people are likely to find it strange given the older person in this relationship is a female. It's ridiculous given that men date younger females all the time but that's just how it is. It will be more of an issue for her than it is for you.
2 - When I was 19 I definitely wouldn't have dated a 16 year old boy. It depends on the people involved but personally my social life at 19 was very different to what it was at 16. Not to mention the prospect of meeting the parents!
3 - Just be direct. There's no easy way to do it. Apologise for being dishonest, explain why you lied. I'm guessing it's because you really liked her and wanted to see where it could go?
4 - Good luck. All girls are different so maybe she will be open to being the older female in this coupling. If not maybe perseverance will pay off!
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