A
female
 ,
*tarisrocks
writes:I had a fantasy of having a threesome with two guys. I have a boyfriend and a guy that would join in, but my boyfriend is funny about seeing another naked guy. My boyfriend also wants me all to himself. He doesn't want to try with two girls because he wants me to be the only girl he ever had sex with. I respect his choice but is there any way I could talk him round--I really wanna try it?
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He doesn't trust me yet he wants a threesome! I feel like he doesn't wwant me..what can I do? How do I convince my shy wife to try a threesome? My boyfriend wants to have a threesome with another woman, but I want him all to myself! |
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male
reader, I am Tetreault  +, writes (20 August 2008):
The least answer was a very good one. I will ad this, though.I hate to be black and white about this but..Either he needs to let you explore your desires(to avoid resentment for not being allowed to do what you want), or you need to let it go and never look back on it again. The problem with the latter is that you wont ever be able to do this. Youll always want to do it.Ill say this. I fully encourage your choice to explore your sexuality. Its alot of fun, can open many doors for communication, and also can help you both find out alot about yourselves.Tell him how you feel, and let him know how important it is that he be a part of your fantasy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): I think this a great fantasy, I think that regardless of what people say, we all have fantasies that we would like to see become a reality, I too have fantasies of being with 2 women and doing a mfm with my wife just to make a fantasy a reality. Good luck
Alfred
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): I agree with mcbirdie. If you really respected his decision you wouldn't try to change his mind. Threesomes only lead to heartbreak. Someone falls more in love with one and gets jealous of the other. Either stay true to your boyfriend or let him go. Maybe then he can find someone who wants only him.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Hey we all have fantasies at some stage of our lives and they do generally pass, you have discussed it with your boyfriend and he is not up for it and i can see his point that he wants you all to himself and there is nothing wrong with that.
If you put pressure on him to do this you could end up losing him altogether and is it really worth the risk over something that sounds good but in reality might be awful and wreck your relationship anyways.
If you are that determined that you want to do this then i think it's a case of leaving your boyfriend and finding someone that is happy to participate.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Short answer is 'No. No, you can't.'
There are two problems that I see with this question--first, you and your boyfriend see sex in very different ways. You want to try new things, experience new people and situations, and he wants to have sex remain something special between the two of you. You may not understand his position and he may not understand yours, but you need to find a way to live comfortably in the middle. Making him do something that is outside his comfort realm--which a threesome would be--will only make him resent and distrust you in the long run. You have to be able to respect each other sexually.
And that is the second problem. Where you say that you "respect his choice", but then immediately say you want to talk him round because you want it. That...isn't respect. People have all sorts of lines they will and will not cross sexually. Perhaps you want to try a little spanking--he doesn't want to, but he is willing to give it a go if it makes you happy. This is a line he WILL cross and you can ask him to do so, for example. But when someone says that they don't want to have sex with anyone else but you, you cannot "respect" his choice if you are also trying to find a way to get around his decision.
My advice is to find fantasies that the both of you can enjoy fulfilling and let this one go. If it is something that is imperative to you to have to enjoy your sex life, you may want to consider filling it with someone else. Because long term, people don't thank you for convincing them to do something they didn't want to do.
Best of luck.
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