A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before you answer this question, could you PLEASE understand that, I know I may be talking about being young to do all these things, but I believe that if I'm ready for it, I shouldn't sit and wait around. I should do it. My parents don't know this FULL story, but they know the main points and have supported me with it because it's what I want to do. Thank you :).Right, I'm 17, I am in a VERY strong loving relationship. I currently live in the UK and want to move abroad to live with my boyfriend when I have finished my education. (Which will be in 2 years) and my boyfriend is a year older than me.- My parents know about this and are supporting me and helping me get the money to help with it.When we move over there, we want to have a child, this will be when I was 19/20. I have always wanted to have children at an early age, and my parents have understood this and have warned me that as long as it's not while I'm in education of under any stress then we can. I just wanted to pass it by you all to see if you think that this is a good idea? I really do not want to wait any later to move or to have children. I have always believed in having a large family, so want to have a lot of children. If you have any suggestions or any opinions or what you think of this then, please write. (Taking in note the message at the top of the page Pleaseee :) ) Thank you
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): had my first child aged 25 3 weeks ago - i am barely coping to look after myself and the baby - thank goodness for my mum who has ensured i'm being fed, got clean clothes, nappies, sleep and loo breaks cos no one else would have done that. She's even kind enough to let me come play on the computer for 30 minutes hence the reason i am typing now. Kids, or kid in my case, are really hard work and i'd say make sure you know what you are letting yourself into because to be honest, i read all the baby books and still found myself totally unprepared. Why not wait until you are 21?? Tis only two years but that's two more years of fun and two more years of saving and two more years to make sure moving was a good decision. Don't want to move and get pregnant only to discover both were a big mistake.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): I say go for it. I'm tired of people saying no and acting like its the end of the world. Almost everyone in the town I live in has got pregnant between the ages 14-17 with their first child. I am 20 years old. I'm a Certified Nursing Assistant and I know it's not the best paying job but it is secure. My fiance is a plumber. We don't have the best of everything. Our home is not new, our cars are not new, etc. But we also want a large family so as soon as we get married we are starting our family. So I just say pray about it and if it's the Good Lord's plan it will happen. I wish you the best of luck in all you do. =]
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I can see that the only people you truly want advice from are the ones that say, Go for it, Do whatever you feel like, etc... I can tell you what I really think of your plan but you won't like it and won't listen. Just what part of this FULL story don't your parents know about?
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 September 2010):
 How big of a family are we talking about? I agree with Chigirl that you should secure employment first and foremost. You'll need to have an income in order to afford food and shelter for yourself, your BF and your children.
Honestly, if everyone is on board with this, then I don't see the harm. One thing to keep in mind. Children can put tremendous strains on a relationship, and it is always best if they are planned and prepared for. It sounds like you have been dreaming about this, but how much have you done in preparation? Delaying your plans a year or two so that you can afford things like a crib, child care, etc. could make a big difference in the long run.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Is your boyfriend agreeing with your total plan, or does he just want one child? Do you have your finances planned?
I suggest you find a job first! First and foremost to gain some work experience. Once you have a child or more, it is quite easy to get stuck at home. And while being a stay-at-home mom can be nice and lovely it is good to have options. All these children will be expensive, so you trotting about at home will only be an extra cost. If you could go to work in between all your planned pregnancies, it would make a huge difference. Not only when it comes to money, but it can also be a huge burden for your man to have to support you all. As well as it being rather rough if he gets laid off from work and neither of you have an income.
After all your pregnancies, it could be very very difficult for you to find work as you by then will be much older, and with zero work experience. Plus, few people will hire anyone that are pregnant.
As for laws in his/your country I am not sure, but here in Norway the fathers don't get a leave off from work to be at home with their child unless the mother has been working/is in school, before the pregnancy. So investigate that if you can, the best for your boyfriend will of course be to be able to stay at home with his newborns as well, to bond.
I say sure, go for it. But get on top of things and make sure you have a solid plan, and possibilities to store away some savings as well. You do not want to live from pay-check to pay-check.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Well if it what both you and your boyfriend want and you'se are both ready then i dont see the problem.
...............................
|
