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I walked in on a co-worker speaking ill of me!

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Question - (14 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, *hiShisAdvice writes:

Awful day at work, coworker from another department helped out in our office. When I left to help clients, the "helper" was talking about my writing! I had returned to the office and stood in the door frozen as she talked to my colleague about my paperwork! I took a deep breath, sat down at my computer and tried to finish my work, but I soon ran out in tears. Upon returning my colleague spat out "Why are you crying!" I ran again. After returning the SECOND time the "helper" stated: "If you are upset about anything I have done I'd like to know! Very defensive like she wanted to fight! Not apologetic or I'm sorry if I said anything...I couldn't believe it!

What is wrong with people these days? They get angry for YOU being upset. The colleague has always been the type that "saves her own skin" (if it's not me, why worry attitude). But geez. Needless to say I called out of work today missing out on a day of pay! But I figure my mental health is more important. Even worse, is that I had to pretend that everything was okay the rest of the evening. What should I do? According to our schedule, I have only 1 more day of working with her.Also, this job pays extremely well, and I like all other aspects of it.Help!

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (14 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntTry to let it roll of your back. There will ALWAYS be people out there full of judgement and critism. Those you learn to spot and stay away from.

Don't stay home because someone can't keep her trap shut. Don't miss out on your job over this.

Next time she talks smack look at her and tell her to talk to your face, not behind your back. And if that doesn't work, tell her that if she can't wsay something nice, she can hold her piece.

Also next time you need help in the office ask to have another person, but her, help out.

You need to grow a little bit thicker skin, after all, what she thinks really doesn't matter, right?

Chin up.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (14 November 2011):

Anonymous 123 agony auntYou shouldn't have cried OP. Its very hurtful to walk in and hear someone speaking ill of you, but you should have just calmly said, "I understand you were talking about me, but in future it would be nice if you could talk to me directly rather than behind my back. I would appreciate that more. If you have a problem with me, please tell me, so that I can also learn and improve".

Not only will this shut her up, it will also make her feel bad and she will never repeat this again.It will also make you look confident and authoritative, which you should be.

All the best to you!

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