A
female
age
26-29,
*ebelheart1912
writes:So I've started talking to this guy that has a lot in common with me, its like we can constantly talk and not get tired of each other. I have never been able to talk to someone like this and it feels really weird, and Im afraid I am going to say something really stupid and cause him to quit talking to me or if he finds out something about my past and just leaves like everyone else. He has told me alot about his life like how he was married and is now divorced and how he used to be on drugs but is clean now along with how "good" girls never want anything to do with him because he has a lot of tattoos. He seems like a really great guy and normally I can pick the losers and jerks out really well but he isn't like the rest. I just don't know what to do. For once, I can actually say I'm kinda scared to see what happens.
View related questions:
divorce, drugs, tattoo Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Tennisstar88 is right. This is a " handle with care ".
Well, it's better than I thought :). At least you know him and hang out in person, which is an 100% more reliable way to get to know a person than just through texts or emails. The age difference is still far from ideal ,but I can't say it's shocking. And ,obviously, we can't mistrust everybody who's ever got divorced just because they got divorced.
With all this, all the story of this boy does not do anything to recommend him, from his past involvement with drugs to the simple fact of having got married at 18 ( !! ) and lasted two weeks,.. suggests impulsivity ,immaturity and a stress on instant gratification.
It is also true that at his age it is quite possible to change and grow up right, and maybe this is just what he is doing.
I'd say, give him the benefit of doubt, but take it very slowly and keep your eyes well open, he's got quite some baggage for a 20 y.o. guy, so while maybe this does not qualify him as a loser, he's is far from a safe bet .
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Just because he's no longer in his teens, doesn't mean he's this adult. at 20 he's still immature, especially since he jumped into a marriage at 18. i give him credit for kicking the drugs, let's just hope he stays clean. once again at his youth, it would be too easy to revert back.
16-17 with a 20yr old is still a significant age difference. when you get out of high school into the real world, age tends to not matter. so i still question why a 20yr old can't get a college girl his age?
jus be careful. he's hardly a man, and is still showing signs of being a loser.
...............................
A
female
reader, Rebelheart1912 +, writes (2 January 2013):
Rebelheart1912 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor everyone asking: No I didn't meet him online. I met him when I was at work and have been friends with him for quite some time, the way that we communicate and everything is mostly by hanging out and when we aren't together he's texting me constantly. He is only 20 years old. The marriage he had lasted for 2 weeks and he ended up getting divorced when he caught her cheating. His divorce happened whenever he was 18 also. Along with that, for those of you asking how long he has been clean, he went to rehab after his divorce and has been clean since then.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (31 December 2012):
I'd be questioning his age and how long has he been clean...Also if he's sought proper treatment, as in going through rehab.
There's also the looming question of what an older man wants with a teenager. It sounds like he's either a pervert or cannot get any woman his own age because he really is a loser.
I'd stay away from him.
...............................
A
female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 As little monster said if he's divorced he could just be looking for a fling to get over the divorce i suppose you could say. If you met him online you need to be so careful he could be anyone trying to lure you in.and how old is he?
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (31 December 2012):
Yeah, your question wasn't "is this okay?" but you may want to be careful if you're really 16-17 and this guy is quite a bit older, especially if you met him online.
Regarding your question: why be afraid over something you can't change? Just be yourself and if he likes you he likes you, if he doesn't then find someone you're more compatible with. It's important to be yourself or you're building a relationship on a foundation of dishonesty. I've had girls pretend to be what they thought I wanted and it was great for a few months, but you can only pretend for so long. Then I was left wondering what in the hell happened to the person who I liked in the beginning.
Besides, when you're being honest you have a much stronger relationship (because they like you for you and it's a great feeling to be yourself).
That doesn't mean go and tell him everything, I'm just saying you need to be yourself and not worry that he may not like you because of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (31 December 2012):
But, how old this guy is ?
And , did you meet him in person, or on line only ?....
...............................
|
