A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i think i am having major security problems or confidence problems, i feel im really ugly and thats why i havent got a boyfriend and i feel everyone is constantly laughing at me like the other day i was walking past a few guys and i was looking at them and they were looking at me and as soon as i'd passed they were laughing. the guy i snogged in year 10 says hes regretting it and is comapring me to the "unfittest" girl in my year!! a few people have told me im gorgeous but i dont believe them as they are much older than me! i feel really down about my looks whenever i take photos of myself all i see is an ugly girl, please help me i used to think i looked ok??? x x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): Look up BDD.
I think it may be a relatively rare but very painful disorder; I have it.
http://www.ocdla.com/bodydysmorphicdisorder.html
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): why does it even matter???
usually a guy first will look at the looks but then when most of then get to know u they actually get inside of u and know who u really are.thats wat love is and if u find someone it shouldnt matter if ur hot or sexy usualy love means something deel inside
and doing let words bring u down.i mean i was a nerd and still am and idc wat ppl say as long as u except ur self then ppl are gonna be like dayum shes pretty cool
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Charlotte is perfectly right. Who cares if your ugly anyway. Beauty is only skin deep. You have youth and health, your rich enough to be able to read and use a computer, which is more than most people in the world can say. As has been mentioned before, this guy probably wants to hurt you, and it looks like his plan worked. Try to aim to be healthy and happy rather than beautiful. Develop your personality and find some better interests than constantly putting yourself down. A woman with personality can attract great guys, it's not all about looks, no matter what anybody says.
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A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (1 July 2008):
Why does it matter?
Everyone likes to look nice
BUT people talk about looks as if ugly people never have relationships or arent succesful? :S
Ive seen a number of gorgeous guys with really nothing girls and visa versa
The best way to feel better about yourself is trough self improvement, I love fake tan and teeth whitener and makeup and highlights and facial hair removal can make even the ugliest girl look "appetising" as such
If you're really that bothered, that is.
Dress to suit your shape, and skin tone...there are so many things that can make you feel gorgeous :)
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Ok, I will confess that at your age I was a bit self-obsessed about looking right and hated photos. It seems important at the time and you think people reject you because you look a certain way. I cannot tell you if you are ugly or not because that is all subjective judgement but I can tell you that you stop worrying about these things so much when you get older. Personality really does count and if you are rejected by men (boys!) then it just means they are not right for you...when you meet someone who is right (and you will) then you will understand how those people are insecure, sexist idiots with no depth of character. I am sure the prat who said you were 'unfit' wasn't George Clooney so who cares what he thinks...who is he to judge anyway?
Be yourself in the knowledge that you cannot do much about the way you look - if you like yourself then other people will only follow...
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A
male
reader, no_issues  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Porn teaches us that the "ugly" girl is actually jaw-droppingly hot -- she just has to let her hair down and take off her glasses. And maybe start wearing thigh-high stockings under her skirt.
Porn also teaches us that your cable repairman has nothing to do all afternoon but have sex with you and your two friends, which seems somewhat far-fetched, but might actually explain why my cable repairman can't ever get to an appointment on time.
So be warned.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Everyone has self-doubt at one time or another. It's entirely normal. Don't worry about it. Be comfortable with who you are and with the face and body you've been dealt.
Of course you should do everything you can to be the best "me" you can be. Keep yourself in shape, learn to use makeup or other techniques to improve on your appearance, keep yourself well groomed at all times, and do all the little things that ARE within your control, so that anything negative is strictly in the "can't help it" category.
And don't pay any attention to what a former boyfriend has to say about you, for goodness sake. There are SO many reasons why he might want to undermine your self confidence, you can't put any credence in his motives at all. As for those guys, I'll practically guarantee you they were saying "I wonder of we could get her to ..." and laughing at themselves for being so daring in their own minds. Nothing much to do with you, just the overactive imaginations of oversexed juvenile males. Again, don't worry about it.
And the older ones, the ones who are telling you are attractive? remember, they are the ones with greater experience. They understand what goes into making a person truly beautiful, and they can see what is really there. In time, so will you. For now, work as hard as you can with what you have, and things will work out.
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