A
female
age
30-35,
*here89
writes:I am a wife of 3 months,to a wonderful husband. Only thing that gets me is that he's always accusing me of cheating,when it has NEVER happen.I do my best to assure him that the only other person besides him is God. In past relationships,he's been cheated on and done wrongly.So,now I'm the one dealing with the attitudes from the past.He always think that I'm looking and seeking something in others when the only person who can give it to me is him.I'm always showing him affection(public and home),telling him how good he looks despite his thoughts,and standing by him no matter...What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 February 2008):
 Pray to God to touch him and let him see the truth. Be patient and try to minimize any contacts with any males for the time being.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 February 2008):
 He needs to forgive the person who wronged him, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because he deserves to live without this haunted past. You being a believer in God, there is a reason the bible states "forgiveness is devine". I've seen it. I've experienced it. That simple act when I took time to forgive others it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I'll tell you, it's not just his being cheated on that causes this. It's because you're a woman. Not saying women don't have certain insecurities. It's about his own being insecure about himeself. That is partially caused by being cheated on, but he's carrying this feeling as "I'm not good enough." Part of what makes guys insecure is your sex. For example. The other poster who experienced this as well. She's an attractive female. Guys know, when with someone who's attractive, when they leave the house, countless number of the opposite sex are going to say to themselves or a friend "I would love to have some of that." It's not just the personal feeling of you cheating, it's also knowing what goes through mens minds, and the fear of what could happen. I'm in my 30's and have been friends with 100+ women over the years. Just friends not dating or sexual, but from all those friends, I can count on both hands how many have not been sexually assaulted in one way or another.
I think both of you need to sit with eachother and talk about this. Addressing fears is the first step toward overcomming them.
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A
female
reader, Ileana  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Oh Honey, i was in the same position only my boyfriend never had anything wrong done to him!You just need to talk to him and tell him your not like the others and that when he accuses you of these things he's pushing you away. It will give him a reality check and hopefully he will stop.Message me if you need more help.Iileyanaxx
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