A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI am with my bf for about a year, everything was going fine and thats what i thought. Yesterday we went out, and he was ignoring and not talking or even looking at my eye the whole time. I have seen him do this when we are around white folks. Background, he is white and im not. i was pissed off and this ignoring bought so many bad memories for me and i tripped over and yelled at him when we reached home, he told me to leave him alone and when i wanted to talk, he walked out of the house, came back again and not talking to me a all. i tried saying sorry and tried to reason with him, he shuts me out completely. i visit his place on weekend, not sure what i should do now, should i leave. he is sleeping and of course i didnt sleep a wink yesterday night.Please help me, i like him, but he is difficult most of the times and i try to adjust and be accommodating, but sometimes i get angry too just like he does all the time. Please help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 May 2017):
 I doubt he would be with you if he was racist, that wouldn't make sense to me. But if you feel he is ashamed to be seen with you then end things. Honestly why be with someone who does not make you feel special and wanted? It sounds like he has commitment issues and also communication issues. Is he really worth all the stress and hurt? What do you get from the relationship?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2017): I dont think this is a color issue.
I think its a personal issue he has with commitment.
While he is behaving as if he is publicly snubbing you there will be plenty of others who wouldnt dream of being so disrespctful.
If you can free yourself to find a more warm hearted man you will be happier in the long run!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2017): He's got something on his mind, and he's avoiding any conversation about it. When you can't talk to someone, you stop trying to force them to talk; and you leave them alone.
If there is no communication between you; the relationship is already half-over. It just hasn't been officially announced.
Ignoring you, alone or in public, is disrespectful. If he's uncomfortable being seen with his girlfriend (of another race) around other whites; then it's time you decide if you want to remain with a man like that. From what you've explained, he's ashamed of being seen with you. That is the most insulting thing anyone can do to you. It's humiliating and demeaning.
You're desperately trying to force him to be good to you. Apparently he doesn't want to anymore; if he ever really was. Seems as though you're doing all the work.
You have to prepare yourself emotionally and psychologically to end the relationship. It's probably what he already has in-mind; but like most cowards, he has to figure-out a way to dump you without drama. He probably wants to avoid a scene, or an emotional-outburst from you. If you get highly emotional, he's trying to freeze you out with silence. That avoids any loud arguments or embarrassing displays. You're supposed to fall-off like a withered leaf.
There is no easy way to do it; but you should consider how you're being treated and let that help you to do what you've got to do. Kissing his ass isn't going to help the relationship. That's below your dignity as a woman, and beneath your ethnic pride.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 May 2017):
 What are you getting from this relationship? I have to ask because, while no relationship is ever all plain sailing, this one seems to be particularly hard work.
He should be proud to be with you, regardless of who he is with. If he is ashamed of you in some way, then there really cannot be any happy ending to this story.
STOP bending over backwards to accommodate this rude and selfish man. Instead, decide what YOU want and, if he can't give it to you, dump his sorry ass and find yourself someone who treats you with courtesy and respect, and who is proud to be with you.
That is what you DESERVE.
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