A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After 9 months of marriage, i made decision to let my wife go back to her parents and continue her studies. but after when she was leave me for studies and took back my decision and asked her not to leave me and instead save our marriage. They told me it was my decision from the first and still want to leave me nad left me after all my apologies and beggings. What should i do, should i still wait for her to complete her studies or leave her forever? Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 I am a bit confused here.
You asked your wife to leave because (a) you were having problems with your marriage, (b) she desperately wanted to go back to college and have a career too, (c) all of the above?
In India where you live, does it mean much when you send your wife back to her family? Like, does it mean that you have divorced her? I think in Asia, returning a wife to her parents has a lot more significant meaning than it is in the west. If such is the case, I can also understand your wife's and her parents' objections against you wanting her back. In their eyes, I think you have hurt her and their feelings, and of course, their pride.
The only thing to do, is for you to talk with her, in private. But please do not pressure her to make the decision to come back to you. You will have "crushed" her twice, by "returning" her to her parents and now by telling her she cannot pursue her dreams to study.
If she loves you, she will come back to you after her studies are finished. If you love her, you will allow her to continue her studies. You can still see each other during college breaks and long weekends, right?
Good luck!
Cat
A
female
reader, kelleeashton  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 how long are her studies going to last and be sure from the get go if you are going to stick it out. talk to her and be prepared for the honest truth of what she says about the situation. if you love her and still want to be with her when your 80 years old stay with her. best of luck!
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