A
male
age
36-40,
*mice
writes:My wife is 21 and I am , we have a daughter turning 2. We are very busy as she is a full time student and works part time and I work 2 jobs. We are working hard to realize our goals of owning our own house and being financially secure. The problem is we are both so tired and busy taking care of our daughter and doing everything else that we don't have good sex much anymore and the amount of sex has dropped drastically. She says she isn't attracted to me so much anymore. I'm in good shape (6 feet 185-190lbs)(not ripped) but im a firefighter and i am muscular but maybe just a few extra pounds in the belly (6 feet 185-190lbs) And she is very skinny a little to skinny if you ask me. (5'2" 95-100lbs)We hardly show each other physical affection anymore and I'm craving it and I wont cheat so I suffer. What should we do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (18 March 2009):
 Keep trying. Just be there for her. The more she knows she is supprted, the less pressure she will feel. But if you two are seeking counseling, I will leave them to tell you what to do from here on out.
Good luck
A
male
reader, pmice +, writes (18 March 2009):
pmice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo update....
Last night my wife basically broke down before bed, she told me she doesn't think we are going to last because we were only together 6 months before her being pregnant and she feels like that is not enough of a foundation for us to rely on. She thinks everything happened to fast and we didnt get enough time to build our relationship. She feels like she is under alot of stress. She doesnt want to feel guilt for breaking it off because I have done right by her, supported her while going to college and not running away from her when she found out she was pregnant. But the fact remains that she doesnt feel like we should be together. Weve decided to try marriage counseling and try to work on our relationship but it doesnt look good honestly.
...............................
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (9 March 2009):
I would be hesitant to introduce a new partner before patching things up with between the two of you.
I think you just hit the nail on the head though. Look for a 2 bedroom as soon as it becomes affordable. See if your apartment complex has a 2br until that they can transfer your lease to.
I still urge you to work on the relationship over the sex. One lead to the other, right?
...............................
A
male
reader, pmice +, writes (9 March 2009):
pmice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo clarify, my age is 24.
Thanks for the response and yes you are correct, we have both have alot going on. I just became a firefighter and she just started a new semester at school.
Another hinderance to our sex life is the fact we rent a 1 bedroom apartment and the crib is in our room. My daughter is a light sleeper also.
She has suggested we try inviting a girl into bed with us, and while I'm more than open to the idea I worry this might negatively affect our relationship in the future. I dont know if she wants this for her for me or for the both of us. I am also worried about diseases and things of that nature.
...............................
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (9 March 2009):
Couples who become so busy with work, school, and fmaily often lose hold of that initial attraction they had int he relationship, and I'm not talking physical attraction.
It sounds more like you two are losing touch with what brought you two together in the first place. You might have to start at square one and "date" again, get to know eachother. I'm willing to bet a fair amount that a lot has happened to each of you individually this past year rather than together. You are almost leading separate lives, and you need to find out about eachother again and get involved with eachother.
I'm sure this is stuff you've heard before, but take a day off, get a baby sitter, sleep in, go to breakfast, walk around town, just be low key. Do things that give you both the opportunity to talk about the other.
If you can show her that you are interested in all of her then that spark she had for you can reignite.
Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, pmice +, writes (9 March 2009):
pmice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo clarify, I am 24. We both love each other but our sex life is suffering and we have had our problems and we have worked through them but I do not know what to do with this.
...............................
|
