A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so I am 18 and in college and my girlfriend who i care about very much is 17 and still in high school. about two months ago I made a horrible mistake and cheated on her with another girl. I kissed her and got a hand job from her. I called my girl friend up the very next morning and told her I had cheated but the problem was I told her we just made out and that she was feeling down my pants. I did not exactly tell her she gave me a handjob and now I feel more guilty than ever, but I feel like if I tell her she will have no choice to break up with me and i love her too much for that to happen. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI honestly did not even realize how much I cared about her and loved her until I did this horrible thing because I was stupid and let the excitement of the first couple weeks of college get to me. I just don't know how I am going to tell her this.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Fantastic post pink topaz..Hopefully, you're girlfriend isn't that dumb and can put two and two together. When I was your age hand jobs, were all the rage.
If you care for and love her so much then why did you kiss and let this other girl jack you off? Come on, now..You're in college with so many opportunities and temptations..and your girlfriend is in high school. However, I am glad you have a conscience and told her but left out a detail. It's her decision what to do with you now..if she keeps you or in your future relationships...DON'T cheat or LIE, okay? It's really that simple.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI completely agree with each of you that if i love her i should tell her and i want both of us to be completely honest with each other, the only problem is I won't be seeing her for about another month as I am 6 hours away in college and she might not be visiting because she is so busy and I would want to tell her in person and not on the phone because i feel like that would be the better thing to do. I also told her that the girl's hands were down my pants, i'm just not sure if my girlfriend knows about what actually happened or not so i want to clarify that with her but at the same time i don't want to have to bring it up again considering she is doing her best to and is just starting to get over it. P.S., i know how terrible of a person i am for what i did and i will absolutely never in my life cheat on a girl that i care about so much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): You cheated, and then you lied about it.
If you cheated, and she didn't ask what happened, and said she didn't want to know that would be one thing.
However, you cheated, and you lied to her about it...that is two offenses (cheating and lying).
So, how would you feel if she was the girl with another man, she makes out with him, gives him a hand job or whatever, and then tells you but lies to you and by doing so "manipulates" you so that you won't react like you might if you knew the truth?
Think about that, because you cheated, then lied to manipulate her response, and now you have to either tell the truth, break up with her, or keep lying and manipulating her.
What do you want the relationship to be like?
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male
reader, defeated  +, writes (21 October 2010):
should of thought of that before u let it happen man
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male
reader, Jor-El85 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I fully agree with Sensativeguy010. You need to be completely honest with her. Or the guilt will continue to eat at you.
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male
reader, turkishsabre  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 man you deserved the outcome..and if you really love somebody you dont fool..so you must check yourself do you really love that girl or not..if you decide about your real feelings then dont do it again..if a break up happens..do not disturb her because you caused that..and if you re lucky enough she will return to you..this is not a mistake..mistakes happens accidentally i think you were enough aware of what you did:)) so dont try to fool anybody or act as innocent.you did something and get the responsibility as a man..
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Don't do that again, really you are lucky to still be going out, imagine how hurt she is with you breaking her trust. Learn from this and make sure it never happens again. Otherwise you should expect to face up to the consequences, and be completely honest in future. In this case leave it be now.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (21 October 2010):
Well I could go with you made your bed and you're gonna have to lie in it. But, I don't think you should tell her. She knows you cheated, she doesn't need to know details. She's naive so I'm sure she believes what you said and that it was just kissing, but just remember when you're older and date women with more experience the whole "we just kissed" scenario won't fly.
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male
reader, Sensativeguy010 +, writes (21 October 2010):
if you truely love her, then you need to tell her the truth.
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