A
male
age
30-35,
*lovebrian
writes:I have a problem!!...well I'm gay and I am madddly in love with my best friend...I've been knowing him since 05 and I've always had a little crush on him...when we got to sophmore year...we started hanging out every weekday...and thus we became best friends...I've always loved him but his family is that kind of family that would tell him "men dnt cry..blah blah blah...a man is not supposed to show his feelings blah blah blah" and he'll tell me he loves me...but as a best friend...and it hurts....alot...he HAS tendencies...he plays around like he is...but if he is...he would be too worried about what people would think of him than accepting if he loves me back...and it sucks...what do I do??...I play around and ask him when is he gonna have sex wit me...but he gets mad and tells me that he doesn't like that shit...and I cry every night!!...I hate him! I love him!! Recently I confessed 1\2 the story to him...I sayd I just had a "crush" on him and he sayd "well I'm not gay...what do u want me to do?" and u dnt know how bad I wanted to say...I want u to love me!! But I couldn't...and I've been trying to find someone else...someone gay to so I dnt have to go through this but its really hard to find someone that's gonna stick it out to the end you know....what do I do about him!!
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male
reader, telf32  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 Been there mate! Hard as it sounds, you have to accept that he has a different sexual preference to you and you have to back off. There will be plenty of other gay teens that you'll get to meet and hopefully you'll then realise that it was just a crush. You are lucky to have a straight mate who accepts your sexuality. Don't ruin it; sounds like he's a good guy. Finally, be careful who you confide about your feelings for this guy - if people tease him, you'll lose him
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Agreed with the other Aunts. What do you do? Absolutely nothing. You can save the friendship by apologizing to him to being quite rude to him. We do not treat people we care about like that. And..how do 'you' really really know he has tendencies. Making assumptions like that, is silly and disrespectful to him. It is no one's business what his sexuality is..no ones, hun. But he has been honest and forthright with you. He told you..he's not. Please accept and respect what he told you. You can't 'make' someone something they are not. You knew the risk and he gave you an answer. Now, you have to respect that answer and carry on. Start being a more gracious, tolerant friend to him and quit expecting to have 'your' agendas met in this friendship, or you won't have a best friend anymore.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (7 August 2007):
 This is such a common problem for gay teens; I'm so sorry you're having to go through this!
Whether he's gay/bi or not, he has told you he's not, so you have to go with that.
It sounds like you have it pretty bad for him, so you need to put some distance between you and give your heart a chance to heal. There are plenty of gay fish in the sea; when you're over this guy you'll be able to see that.
Take care of yourself hon. good luck.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 August 2007):
 Well if he isn't gay I guess you are SOL and will have to settle for friendship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): If you want to remain friends, I suggest you forget about him 'loving you'. He won't. He's straight. He prefers a womans company in bed, and if he's anything like me he'll consider that anything to do with two men having sex is quite abhorrent.
Find someone of like mind to yourself. And keep it in the closet.
Phil
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