A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating long distance my boyfriend for over 10 years he ended up going to jail for three years i have always been here for him.... I love him but unfortunately i met this guy and starting seeing him....the thing is i was stupid enough to call my boyfriend n tell him i started seeing someone new ...he said he was hearty broken n cried n told me he wish me the best n hung up the call...i regret telling him this cause what i hav for this other guy is lust not love ....how can i let him know out it was a mistake n that i want him back???
View related questions:
in jail, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Crazysecret  +, writes (29 May 2015):
 I agree cheating is 99% of the time a horrible thing to do. However, the term once a cheater always a cheater does not apply to the other 1% of people who have cheated under certain circumstances.Allow me to elaborate; Imagine you are in a relationship with someone who has fallen horribly ill (e.g. Alzheimer) ... and you need to care for this person everyday. You can't leave the person you love as this is the time they need you the most. Let's say you managed to stay strong and care for this person for 10 years without anyone caring for you. However after years of caring for someone you start to realize that this isn't the relationship you signed up for. You wanted a mutual loving relationship... but this relationship is one sided. Eventually someone comes along and gives you the emotional support you have lacked for so long... If I became physically immobilized or got Alzheimer's or fell into a coma and became a burden for my girlfriend for years could I really blame her for finding emotional support somewhere else?Yea I know, bad things happen and you need to stick with your loved one through thick and thin but we are all human. That being said, the OP knew that her bf was getting out eventually so she could have held on and waited a little longer. She was being weak and yes even selfish but it's not the most selfish thing a person is capable of doing.If there were a circumstance scale of 1 to 10 where cheating under circumstance 1 is a terribly selfish act (e.g. happily married and cheating because you found that guy super hot) and circumstance 10 is a cry for help (e.g. caring for a sick husband for years and desperately needing someone to care for you)I'd say the OP falls under circumstance 7.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2015): well if you "dear john" your boyfriend and hes in jail and you tell him its over, then putting down the phone is all he can do but lets face it your in the driving seat in pole position here.Your boyfriend is in jail and cant romance you..you didnt sign up to be a nun and three years is a long time so in most respects i cant see what the problem is...In fact you are taking on a burden of guilt that isnt yours because you werent the judge that sent him down were you? If he were in a mixed jail with female and male cells he may well have cheated on you...but what goes on in jail tends to stay in jail and we dont have unseggregated male and female units i believe. So cheer up, let the bloke toughen up ,he doesnt want to hear about this new romance right now..you can always write him.
.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2015): its hard. i think you should visit him in jail and say you're very very very sorry and show that youre willing to do anything to win him back. if he doesnt let you back in, then you should just learn your lesson.
...............................
|
