A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm losing the father of my baby to be. I told him that I was pregnant and he flipped!!! Then he said he was fine! But now he isnt talking to me? Im so confused. I want to keep the baby but would it be the best for it? I dont want to be a failure in life just because I have a baby. Would an abortion help with the father? Would he feel better?? Im just so confused. I love him alot, but really its just teenage love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks alot for your help. I think i'm going to tell my parents soon. I really dont want to get an abortion so I am 99% sure that if I have this baby i'll be giving it up for adoption. I know i am only 15 and that im too young to have a baby. I have a good family to support me and I am veryyy lucky for that. I know it is teenage love and I said that so people need to stop judging. Kbye
A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (10 September 2010):
 At 13-15 a baby is a pretty scary thing. Physically, emotionally and financially there will be trouble. Your body is too young to take on that trauma and as is your mind. Don't make any decisions that based on this boy's feelings. But, I do suggest you speak to a trusted adult about your situation. You also need to inform your parents. You will need help exploring the options left to you. And please, if you're going to have sex, be safe. Use condoms. Going on the pill doesn't protect from STDs...Pulling out isn't safe..etc etc. If you don't believe in abortion, consider adoption. These days an open adoption can allow you to see your child grow up while you do so yourself. Hon, please please don't ever base your life decisions on a boyfriend. Your current one seems immature, unable to handle whats happening when he is half the cause. I don't think he'll be much help. Turn to those who love you and want the best for you, your parents. It won't be easy but it's the best thing to do. I wish you all the best
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 You need to think about your options. You are young, very young, and scared right now. Imagine how your family would feel if/when you tell them. The dad isnt interested, life would be tough. You will need to grow up fast. I wish you luck. but i want you to talk to a close friend, your best friend. But forget the dad, like you said, its teenage love, he doesnt love you, im sorry to tell you :/
But please talk to someone. If you want an abortion, go to a clinic, one out of your hometown so your parents cant find you. If you need to talk, im here x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): i personally will never agree with abortion. I think you need to think long and hard about if you want to murder your child or not. If you dont wish to keep the child there is adoption. I think that if the father doesnt want to be involved you should make this your decison
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 September 2010):
 You are very young, and it won't be easy to take care of a baby. You need to first shore up your support system. That means, parents, relatives, and close friends, plus the close friends' parents.
Also, you need to figure out ALL of your options, and not just abortion and keeping it. There is also adoption, which is a really good thing since there are many potential parents who are aching to love and parent a baby - your baby if you choose to go that route.
What you also need to do is consider with different eyes the father of your baby. He is freaking out and thinking that he can't be a dad. That tells a lot about his maturity and character. Why on earth do you want anything to do with helping the father? It was the fact that you chose to have unprotected sex with him (and he with you) that got you into this. If you stay with him, you will be furthering your mistakes.
You're right, you don't want to be a failure. It's by making better and more careful choices in the future that you won't be one. The biggest choice is to acknowledge that you are too young to put your life and your future at risk for 5 minutes of sex...with anyone. So this "helping with the father"...all he needs help with is taking responsibility for his actions. You absolutely do not want him being "helped" to get back with you.
I know your feelings are all over the place now, but you have to start thinking with the mind of a practical mature person, not a romantic teenager. You have to take control of your feelings. If this guy actually loved you back, he wouldn't cut you off. Rather, he'd be sitting with you now helping both of you figure out what to do next.
If you haven't talked to your parents about this, now would be the time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): My sister had a baby when she was 14 years old. She is 40 now. She has a great life, and we were all supportive of her while she carried the baby. She gave the baby up for adoption through a Catholic charity through a closed adoption. They helped with the medical expenses and education during the pregnancy. I had the opportunity to meet my niece when she was 23. She wanted to meet her birth mom's family. It was very cool, she is a neat girl, and I am glad my sister had the strength to carry her to term. Her adoptive family love her very much and very grateful to my sister for providing them an important part of their family. I was 15 when I found out my little sister was pregnant it was tough, but I am sure with your family and some help you can get through this just fine and turn out to have a fantastic life no matter what your choice. As far as your boyfriend goes, at age 13-15 I would worry less about that, you are very young and you're going to find what is important to you change many times over the next 10 to 15 years.
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