A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I need some advice this is driving me crazy! I just found out that my husband has been calling these chat lines they advertise on TV. This is not just once or twice; he is doing this excessively causing us to go over our minutes on our phone bill. He has done this in the past where he just becomes obsessed with it and calls everyday multiple times a day! This is all being done when I am away at work and of course he is hiding it from me by deleting the numbers from his phone history. We are very honest with each other and share everything, its not like I go through his phone. I found out from our phone bill. He has also been ordering porno from pay preview and our cable bill has been high. Let me tell you guy I do give it to my husband! I do! I would say we average 3 times a week and that is sex not the other foreplay activities we do. It is not like I am depriving him of sex. What do I do, this hurts me feelings and my bank account. Oh and yes he does not work, this is being done on my phone not his b/c at the time of this billing he did not have a phone and he always has mine. Now that he got his phone back I can only imagine how much he is calling. Please help! Is this right???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): to the male reader who posted a response. Thanks and i get it guys like porn, I like porn and i'll watch it with him. but dont be running up my bill that I pay thats all i am saying. The chat lines can turn into somthing more than a once or twice call, he can be calling the same person, I dont know. that scares me. i am only 22 yrs old i have been with this guy since i was 16 and married for 3 years so does that fit you better? and i said that is 3 times a week for sex on top of foreplay and that is everyday no matter what. I please him, I want to please him and i make sure he is pleased.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Sounds like he's bored and is passing time yanking his wanker. He can't seem to use his imagination so he needs to watch pay per view porn or dial those 1-900 numbers.Cell phone I'm guessing? I would follow Youwish's advice but you have to be the account holder on the bill to be able to put the line on hold or to cancel it then you're slapped with that early termination fee, so the next best thing you could do is hide his phone, take the battery out so he can't here it, tell he can prove to you he's going to stop with the excess charges..the pay per view can be locked with those parental codes. Since he doesn't have a job, I would bring home newspaper and specifically give the Hiring section to him. Get onto him about not having a job, he can use this time to brush up on his resume and search job websites instead of playing with himself. Again you will probably have to put a parental block on any porn websites. If you don't have access to the internet in your home send him to the local public library, he can't access any naughtiness there!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): First, him watching porn has nothing to do with how many times a week you have sex. News alert: Guys like porn. We also like ice cream. No matter how much sex we have we will still like porn and ice cream, and sometimes at the same time. It has been shown that sexually arousing images increase testosterone in men. Testosterone makes us feel better, stronger, smarter, etc... so there is a real physiological benefit to watching porn. It's just like working out (which also raises testosterone levels in men). If it bothers you find someone that is better at covering up their porn so it doesn't bother you, or someone that really, really, doesn't look at it.
As an aside, not that you asked, 3 times a week at age 22-25 isn't what I would call frequent. You might want to bump that up to 1-2 times a day in my opinion until you've been married for about 3 to 4 years and then 3 times a week is good.
As far as the phone lines go that is another matter; the calling a chat line thing fills some need of his to have an alter-ego, or to be elevated socially, it's the same thing that drives folks to play WoW for 15 hours a day. A total waste of time, but they can't help it. You will likely never be able to "cure" him of this and if it bothers you and you want to try go to counseling, but I would just kick him to the curb and find a guy who is more to your liking.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Shut off that phone. Get a new one and put a key lock on it. Put a parental lock on the pay per views, and that will take care of the logistical and financial side of it.
As for the rest, you work, and he doesn't. Why would you have to put up with his addiction? What on earth is he bringing to this marriage?
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