A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know it might sound ackward to some of you but believe me, this is the truth. Since ive reached the puberty stage and really starting to experience feelings (that s when i was 14), i somehow fell inlove with a guy who s 2 years older than me. We used to school together but not in the same grade. He would stare at me for hours at lunch time or go the other direction if he saw me coming his direction or sometimes ask 1 of my friends about me through the internet. We never had a real conversation, im kinda afraid of him coz he s just so charming and very hot! Everyday he stared at me, sometimes it made me unconfortable at school. While this process went on and on, i began to develop feelings for him day by day. The feelings got out of control, i ended up explaining my feelings to him (through the internet) coz i was 85% convinced that he felt the same way by the way he behaved. I just went straight to the point 'i love you' and he was like 'really?' i said 'do you love me like i do?' then he said 'Not a chance.' then agn he said 'you're so amazing'. I was like 'really?' he said 'yah, believe me'(he changed his status msg to 'daMN GAL ur so brave!') i told him 'okay, anyway that s all that i wanted 2 tel you. Any last words?' he said 'nop' then i said 'k, im removing you' then i did . After all that happend, i was in pain the whole night but acted cool the next day at school. He stared at me again with the same look, i was confused and im still confused even today at this moment, i wonder if he loved me2.. Im always thinking of what ive done and it just hurts me and holds me back from having a boyfriend. I feel like im ugly (even thou ppl say im nt an sumguys proposed), stupid and worthless. Anyway, i just need to find a way out of this thought and start something new. Any advice?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 August 2012):
 I think you just came on way too strong and scared him off, so try and learn a lesson from this for when you are next talking to a guy you like. You cannot love someone you have never even spoke to face to face, yes you like him a lot and think he is hot but that is not love. Until you really know a person inside out then you cannot love that person.
So when you told him you loved him he must have thought you were a little crazy because you have never even spoken properly before. I think he was probably attracted to you, his actions showed he was a bit interested but then you went all crazy on him and scared him away. He cant have ever loved you because you dont know each other, all he can ever have felt for you is attraction, that's it.
What should you do now? Calm down and relax a bit. You are obviously not ugly becauase this hot guy was staring at you a lot (a clear sign you cant be that bad too look at!) and other guys have proposed you so you are not ugly at all. Just a bit forward, and this is something that will sort itself out as you get older.
Men like to do the chasing with girls, they dont want a girl to all of a sudden declare their undying love for them. Men (especially men under the age of 20) are often scared by love and if the guy is particularly immature he will think it is uncool to be in love, so when you claimed to love him that will have scared him beyond belief.
If you think a guy might like you and you like him too, wait for him to make the first move. If you catch him looking at you, smile back and hold his stare a little before looking away. Give him some signals that you like him too and eventually he should make a move on you.
When you start talking to a guy take it slow and dont rush, if you really like him try and keep your feelings to yourself until you are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. When you are just getting to know someone it should be nice and slow, enjoying each others company and just talking about the things you have in common. Talking about feelings is too serious and should be left until a later date.
But dont worry too much about this experience, at least you have learnt a valuable lesson from this and you wont make the same mistake again. You are not stupid at all, you are just a young girl who really liked a guy, there is nothing wrong with that!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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