A
male
age
36-40,
*arm
writes:I told my girlfriend that I didn't want to have a relationship with her if there wouldn't be regular (somewhat frequent--at least once a week or so). She promised things would change, and they did for about a week, and now things are back to boring and sex-less. I approached her and she became irate. What should I do?(Obviously I could find someone else.) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): Can I be honest?
How romantic would you say that you are?
If your not then she will feel that she is putting out and thus will be put off
A
female
reader, torngirl  +, writes (22 February 2010):
Putting her under pressure really isn't the way! If you could have the frame of mind, for now at least, that quality is better than quantity and rest easy for a few weeks but show her that you care for her (because by the way, saying that you only want a relationship with her if she puts out enough clearly says that sex is more important than any of the qualities she has) then she'll be more likely to want to.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 February 2010):
A woman's arousal is linked with her state of mind. If she is happy with life in general and happy with her sex life and such, she will have a higher libido. If she is unhappy or stressed, her libido will be lower. Put more effort into finding out how she's feeling about life and such. Show her more love. Find out if there is something in her life that is causing her stress.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 February 2010):
Sexual arousal for a man is like switching on a light; instant. For women its more like an iron; takes time to heat up. So if you want more sex then be more romantic in the lead up. Dont only be romantic the minute you want to do it. If you want to get laid tonight start in the morning; maybe with an extra lingering kiss in the morning when you are leaving for work. The best foreplay is:... Fix shyt around the house. Make the bed for once. Change that light that has been flickering for a week. Send her a text that says, "dont cook tonight... Its my turn" then pass through Krogers and bring home roast chicken and salad. We are turned on by many things like this because they show you care. Also giving oral and lots of foreplay gets us in the mood. Those hot girls you see around? They will demand the exact same treatment. If you couldn't be bothered then buy a whore. The sad part is men only really figure this out at age 50 or older. They are told this over and over and they dont get it until their middle age. Get it now and she will treat you like a king.
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A
male
reader, realman +, writes (22 February 2010):
I have to admit that I'm also in the same boat. I have been married for over ten years. But I'm always frustrated in sex. Over these years,I have sex once a month. As a normal man, I tried many times to explain sex's importance for people, My wife dislike listening. I can't divorce. Frankly, My wife is kind and considerate, although we don't have sex often. So masturbation helps me release pressure and sexual desire. I have no choice. I think you're different from me, you can do it better. good luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 Why is she acting that way?
Maybe, the fault does not lie with her. If you want more sex, you would need to do more for her.Show more concerns for her and take more keen interest in her and her activities.
Did you make her feel loved? Did you meet her mental, emotional and romantic needs?
Woman needs love and romance before they can give sex.
Want more sex, give more love...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): I hope you were more tactful then your post seems, being told put out more or I am going to dump you isn't really the way to get a woman in the mood.
Have you asked her what't wrong why doesn't she want sex?
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A
male
reader, cebren +, writes (22 February 2010):
I am in the same boat...except its been over a month for me. I dont know why but things seemed to die down with us.We used to have sex like 5 times a day, now im lucky if its once a month.The thing we need to think about is, is she worth it? Can she be fixed? I want to marry this girl, but i WILL NOT live my life without intimacy. Sex is one of life's best qualities. So im in the same seat man. I love her but i think to myself everyday... "Look at these girls, they're smoking hot and i could be getting with them...is she worth it anymore"Talk to her, be straight forward. I guess i need to take my own advice but everytime i talk to her about sex im a sex-aholic or a pervert. Its getting really old.If anyone out there has any info for us it would be great... as no sex in a relationship not only sucks, it tears people apart. I no longer feel close to my fiance anymore, and if something doesnt happen soon, im going to be back in the game.
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