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I told her how I felt and she backed off....is she scared because she thinks I'll change my mind about my sexuality? Or does she simply not want a relationship with me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i am female and just fallen in love with another girl,she is a lesbian and this is first time i have ever felt anything for a girl. we have kissed a few times and the other day she were holding my hands kissing me then i started getting feelings for her so i told her now she said it all has to stop and now she doesnt text me much and wont see me she said she doesnt feel the same.

do you think maybe she is scared i will change my mind about sexuality or scared of getting hurt or just actually doesnt want a relationship with me? im so confused because she says she just wants to be friends then says what would you do if i kissed you again and you would never tell your parents if i did like you back would you. im not a child im 23 and yes it would take a while to tell my parents im bisexual but what is she doing she is confusing me because now she says she just wants to be friends.

View related questions: kissing, lesbian, text

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntThere could be so many different reasons why she said that this thing between you and her has to stop. I am afraid i cannot tell you what it is as only she knows that.

However it sounds from what you have written like she does "like like" you but is trying to fight it or maybe she has doubts.

I mean if you don't have feelings for someone you don't go and ask them things like "what would you do if i kissed you?"

I think the most probable reason is because she isn't sure about you. It sounds like she defointly likes you one way or another but she doesn't know if you would feel comfortable with her, that is one possible solution.

The only way you will find out is if you ask her, tell her your dieing to see her again as you really need to discuss things.

Prove to her that you would be comfortable going out with another women, and your not put off or held back easily.Ask her exactly why she doesn't want to go out with you. Good Luck x

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (15 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntI'm not sure how she truly feels if she does actually like you or she is just enjoying the attention. My guess is she is proud to be a lesbian and she knows who she is. She knows that you are a bit confused at the moment because you have never had feelings for a girl. I guess if she fell for you she would be scared because you wouldn't want people to know straight away until you got your own head around it. Maybe she is scared of getting hurt, maybe she feels you are not genuine enough and probably is scared you will soon get bored, or she feels it might be a phase you are going through. You need to sit down with her and open up to her, be honest with her and tell her everything you have wrote here. Ask her does she like you ask her what she is scared off. Just talk things over. I guess it is all that you can do.

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