A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I told my girlfriend about me having sex in the past and it really seems to have affected us but i keep telling her i cant change my past but she doesnt seem to be changing how angry she is at me. shes also saying that its not going to affect us and she's mixed emotoins about it, what do i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): Sexual pasts aren't important as long as you can guarantee you are clean of diseases.
The only tiny little problem is that unless you are a virgin, you cannot guarantee that. Modern science can't test for everything. And science cannot cure all of it either.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (10 July 2012):
Some, maybe most people, feel that having sex with another is somethong we do with people who are special to us. If both in a relationship have roughly equal past experiences then we accept each other easily as having similar values. Where the difference is too big one partner may well, and probably rightly, feel that the value of each partner to the other is somehow not as equally meaningful. Either the relationship fails or one partner has to give up their values.
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A
female
reader, Heyshorty16  +, writes (10 July 2012):
 If she isn't willing to forget the past then she isn't willing to accept a future with you, sorry to say but the past is what makes you who you are today and if she can't realize that or accept that the she isn't worth it. The past is the past and that's why people want to get over it.
Hope the advice helped.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Actually, I don't think you did anything wrong. I would want to know my partner's sexual history to protect my sexual health. I would sit with her and tell her exactly what you have told us. That you are sorry about this, you are sorry if you hurt her, but you cannot change your past. Also, that you have long since forgotten about those experiences because you are with her now and you want her. Follow it up with a bouquet of flowers, special night out, or doing something she really enjoys and make sure you constantly reinforce how important she is and how sexy she is to you. Women just want to know we're unique, special to you, and that men desire and care about us. If she is still mad, give it some time, but continue with the reinforcement. She will come around.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Why did you tell her about how you had sex in the past? No current partner wants to hear about that, and it can be very hurtful information.
You can't change the past, no one can. But you shouldn't have told her, because things would have been just fine if you hadn't. You should only say such things if there is a good reason to.
Give her time to get over it, and things will hopefully get back to normal soon.
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