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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello.I'm 18 years old I don't have a boyfrind infact i never had one. I always though it was because i didn't have huge boobs (b cup here) and i'm only 5'3. There was this one time when i was dancing with a guy at a birthday party (he didn't drink so i know he wasn't drunk) and he seemed nice and sweet. he had his arm around my waist at one stage and it was all nice and i thought he was into me. whenever they were taking photo's he'd always be like "oh i'll take my shirt off, or i'll out my jacket around you" we were flirting and i though in no time he'd ask me out, he seemed to show and interest or so i thought. anyway days went by - i'd seen him at school and tried to flirt a little but he didn't seem as interested. i don't really talk to much about relationships with my friends (maybe if i'm one on one) but my friend had said the guys was into this other girl and some people were going to set them up. Anyway about 2 months later he ended up hooking up with this other girl on a bus trip they sat in the seats next to me and a friend, on the way home and they were kissing and stuff. I figured this guy was just a bit of a get around. but i didn't think he was like that he is really different to other guys.was he trying to make me jealous.Should i just get over him (i wish i could) have you got any tips on how to get over him.is he just a get around.Charlotte.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): Wow! A guy is nice to you and flirts a bit... ok he is a flirt! But these first answers are kinda harsh:"i know that he hurt you, and just because he is like that, doesnt mean that every guy is, ...""you don't want sumone(sic) that is going to treat you like that! "Just because a guy flirts with you doesn't mean he wants to marry you!Did he date you and then dump you? NODid he kiss you? NODid he even ask you out? NOHe probably is like that with every girl he meets andthat's why every girl (including you) like him!He's a Don Juan who can make every girl he meets think he loves them.Move on!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006): In answer to your question...yes, you do try hard to get over him. Charlotte, this is something that happens to all of us. You meet a person for a night, there's some flirting and we seem sure 'they are the one'. But then when they ignore us..confusion and frustration sets in. In effect, he doesn't appear to have done anything wrong, dear. Simply put, you are looking for love and a relationship. Most of us want that..that normal. His dating pattern is likely a series of flirting and short relationships in his quest to finding the right person for him. He's shopping around, dear. So the answer as to whether this guy is best for you, is right before your eyes. The answer is no but you are confused and can't accept what you see. This is where a lot of girls don't use there heads. They mope and dwell ..and let themselves fall into the depths of despair when it doesn't pan out the way they want, hurt, pain and confusion set in. So just move ahead and stop feeling confused about it. Sheesh! This is dating and this will happen again and with each experience, we learn great and wonderful things about relationships and love. Dating can be a cruel world and rejection is par for the course in the dating world. But for every person that rejects us, it gives us the wonderful opportunity to move on another path to finding that special someone. A person has to develop a strong sense of self and needs to stay in a reality based state of mind. So get dating into perspective because dating as a form of shopping around, it's a selection process..especially at your young age. Enjoy life and relish in it. I suggest you enjoy the company of interested guys, but always stay real, keep it in perspective and be honest with yourself .Understand any type of healthy relationship, including friendships, are based on trust, respect and caring, not to cause pain to others. Being able to identify and be in healthy dating relationships is a very important skill for young people to learn. And hun, you are learning!
One very important thing to remember...friendships are very important. Being too wrapped up in the dating scene can prevent a person from developing real friendships, which will be with her for life. Additionally, getting caught up in the dating scene displaces more important things. If you are 18, then these years are the final staging grounds for independent adulthood. A young person like yourself, who is much too preoccupied with one romantic relationship after another is going to miss out on a lot of the education, as well as on the maturity that comes from intellectual effort. Date and have fun, just remember, you have a future ahead of you. Keep at your studies. But as for this young man you like...strike this experience up to a life learning process...forget him and go find some nice guy who'll appreciate you. Take Care, dear and just have fun!
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reader, kt  +, writes (9 July 2006):
 hey charlotte,
to be honest, i dont think he is tryin make you jealous, i just think he is a nice guy, who like flirting. i do think you should get over him, because he sounds like hes happy with another girl.
getting over someone isnt easy, nor quick, especially if you rally liked him. the best way is to just accept it. dont hate him, or love him just simple, think about other guys. stay away from him if it makes it easier.
i know that he hurt you, and just because he is like that, doesnt mean that every guy is, dont give up! men are like roses, but watch out for the pricks!! lol
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female
reader, Cindy lou And Babbi +, writes (9 July 2006):
 hiya!! he's obviously not worth it if he flirts with you one minute then ignores you the next just forget about him as there are plenty of other fish in the sea and you don't want sumone that is going to treat you like that just remember what he did and you will see what type of guy he is and see that he's not worth the pain your going through so forget about him and move on and get in there withother guys you take a fancy to!!
cya chuck hope it all goes well xxxx
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