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female
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*rokenhearted
writes: I'm just after finding out from my ex thats hes going out with the girl he cheated on me with just 6weeks ago. we were going out for 3 years and I really did think that he was the one!!!I'm heartbroken, we hadnt been getting on for sometime but we were both sooo busy at different things and whereas I needed him to relax after my stressful days, he just needed to sleep and so we'd argue!!can someone really get over somone so quickly, he cheated on me at his christmas party with a girl from work, he told me straight away said he was very sorry and could never forgive himself but that it was the drink and didn't mean anything. He also said that he had ruined it now and that I'd never trust him again!!I'm just so upset that I thought he had loved me for the last 3 years, that I was so stupid to love someone who could get over me so quickly!!What can I do not to be so stupid again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2006): dont waste your time with him, just move on, you can do so much better, really do you think he loves you if he can so easily destroy your emotions like that and not even care? and you know that you will never trust him again so why waste your time on someone that has little respect for you?, go find yourself a real man, this guy he is not a real man he is just a bastard, and i agree with purrfectionist84 you are only a fool if you keep wasting your time on this guy, dont be a fool and get out now while you got the chance before this loser sucks you back in and does it again, remember to be strong and confident.
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (23 January 2006):
 Someone who loves you shouldn't cheat on you, continue to see the person he cheated with behind your back, and then break up with you. It seems that he has moved on from the relationship. Whether he loves you or not, his behavior was inexcusable, and you mustn't put up with that crap. You're only a fool if you disrespect yourself by failing to move on from this guy who has hurt you so badly.
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female
reader, brokenhearted +, writes (23 January 2006):
brokenhearted is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think, i really do think that he still loves me, am i a fool?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2006): maybe just try being single for awhile and get over your boyfriend, and just do the things you enjoy and dont stress out. and your not the one who is stupid, its the guy you dated that was stupid, its not your fault, this does not mean you have a poor judge of character this just means that the guy you dated was a total ass hole and has little repect for the people that love him the most, i think you will find someone again but in the mean time you need to understand that it is no fault of your own when others make stupid mistakes.
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (23 January 2006):
Hey,
Stop beating yourself up. You weren't stupid. He was the stupid one. He had something great with you, and he gave it all up because he felt the need to lie and cheat. Ah well. You're better off without him.
Just because this happened now doesn't mean that it will happen again in the future with other people that you date. You shouldn't distrust future dating partners just because this one guy chose to be a loser.
All you can do is learn from this experience. Learn to recognize the warning signs and be on the lookout. Don't treat your relationships with undue suspicion, but by all means, don't let a guy tell you that it was "just the alcohol" and that "it didn't mean anything." Don't allow anyone to treat you like you're second rate. The first time he cheats should be the last time; break it off then and there.
Honestly, it sounds like he's been over you for a longer time than you think. You hadn't been getting along as well, you were arguing, and he slept instead of relaxing with you. (These are just the examples that you provided; I'm sure there are others that you haven't shared, eh?) Then, he cheated, blaming it on alcohol, but knowing damn well that he'd continue to see the girl that he cheated on you with because his relationship with you was nearing the end, as he saw it.
Don't let this experience scare you away from dating other people. You weren't stupid to love him. It just seems that the relationship was at a point where he couldn't see continuing it, and he made a terrible call by cheating on you instead of breaking things off with you first, and then pursuing this other girl.
We sometimes get hurt by people that we have loved for a long time, but this doesn't make us stupid. It's just part of life as a human being. Learn from it, and don't let it eat you up too badly. Move on, and embrace the likelihood of better times.
Best wishes.
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