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female
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*llie
writes: Ok here's the deal, I met "Greg" in chat room on my cell phone in September 2005. We really enjoyed chatting and soon began to talk on the phone and things just kept getting better. "Greg" lives in New Jersey and I live in Ontario Canada witch is a good 7-8 hour drive, he is a very out going charming man. We decided to meet(for me was a very big step) I booked a room for him. We met at the hotel, my heart was going a mile a minute and i was very nervous, i did manage to get out of the car to see him for the first time, we hugged, checked into the room, a weekend went well i was nervous trying so hard cause i wanted him to like me just as much as i liked him. He left on sunday and the following wednesday was the last time i heard from him till today, he sent me a text messege, he had been in a very bad motorcycle accident and was hospitalized for a great deal of time. he now says he would like to come back and see me. I want to know if i should give this relationship another chance?Yours truly, Second chance?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2006): It's possible that if his injuries were life threatening, the last thing on his mind would've been contacting his friends, online. Have you confirmed that he is in the hospital? We want to take new love interests at face-value and believe them, but a girl does have to be a smart "sleuth" and check things out, especially with LD relationships. I would say-remain friends for now until you find out, firsthand, if he is a reliable, honest person. This will require more 'real-life" meetings, on your part. You need to build "trust" but you don't do that by believing everything he tells you. You build it by careful observations of him and the type of life he leads. One has to use insight, common sense and her street smarts before handing her heart and emotions over to this guy. If you meet him again, I would refrain from sex until you know for sure, he is the one for you. Remember, when people have sex too soon, they are doomed. Great sex doesn't make a great relationship. A great relationship makes great sex. When people jump in too fast, in most cases, they miss the stages of getting to know each other. They rely on their physical attraction and miss making an emotional connection. Remain wary until you do find out why he didn't contact you sooner and if he has, in fact, been injured in a bike accident. This relationship is new and is based on one weekend together and contact over the computer. There's really no evidence to suggest that the two of you have a future together because he's telling you things that have no real-life evidence of truthfulness. You don't know this until you spend time in his world, meet his family, his friends, etc. Therefore, I would urge you not to do anything sudden or significant. Take this relationship slow for now and like the other reader says-do not invest too much of your heartfelt feelings into this. Although it does work for some, I tend to be suspect of online romances. Too many people get hurt because they jump into online romance, based on blind trust. You never trust someone online, until you've had many real-life encounters where you can see how he lives and confirm what he may telling you online, is the truth. Some people use the internet constructively but be careful...because some people play around online, never intending to get serious. Some men become wrapped up in that fantasy of having a variety of women to flirt and chat to, online. It's very appealing to some people who crave ego massages and constant confirmation of their attractiveness. Just go slow and take it one step at a time. There is a possibility that if he didn't contact you sooner, he was recuping in the hospital but when a man is truely interested, he'll 'move mountains' to get a quick message to you, letting you know what happened. The other possibility is he's keeping his options open, while he is in contact with you, he's stringing along other women, online. Be careful hun. I wish you well. Take Care
Hugs, Irish
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