A
female
age
30-35,
*RYSTLE
writes:Last week, what I thought was a perfect relationship ended. My bf and I have been together for over three yrs. things have always been good, we lived together for a short while and I was even pregnant with his baby (unfortunately I lost him). We are not one of those boring couples, he still hangs out with his friends on a regular basis, we both work, etc. I should mention I am 20, he's 23. Out of nowhere he broke things off last week. I know for a fact he has not cheated and still loves me. When I asked him why, he kept saying idk I need some time to think. He feels like were too young to get married. The thing is I haven't been pressuring him about it. We haven't even discussed it much! He said he needed time to think and I understood I guess. Ps. We've been hanging out still and he still introduces me as his gf and hasn't even told his family were broken up. However, last night I found out he wants to randomly move away. Kinda far. If he moves, what will happen to us? What happened in the first place? Any guys been through this and can explain what going on in his mind? Feel free to mail me about this if you'd like and thanks again in advance for the help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KRYSTLE +, writes (9 September 2009):
KRYSTLE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers! I had suspected something like this myself but I wasn't sure. You've bott cleared things up for me :)
Well, jus to keep you guys updated... I talked to one of his sisters, then pretty much the whole family found out. They are all mad at him and are sad to see us in this situation. His sister told me that this is probably jus a phase he's going through because he's been influenced by his "single, drunk, unemployed" friends. They're all recently single and are also to blame for his wanting to move away.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts with me and hopefully things work out :(
Ps. I'm not telling him this, but I'm going to give him till the end of the month to figure this out. After that he won't have another chance. I will keep you guys updated on what happens.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 Don't over react. I think that Taste of India has it exactly this sounds like a standard guy panic. If you behave well, don't pressure him, give him love but don't smother him but also, gently, let him know (through actions rather than words) that you have other things going on in your life then he will likely come back to you in time.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 September 2009):
 Hmmm, sounds like he had a sudden freak out. Maybe he suddenly thought to himself "oh my God, we've been together 3 years. It's getting serious. Now the only place left to go is getting married. Oh God, I'm not ready for that, what if that's what she's waiting for??", and now he wants to go and be totally independent and embrace the bachelor lifestyle.
Sounds like some sort of crisis. And I think time to think is a good thing... but I also think that you should have a talk before he goes. Tell him that you love him and that marriage isn't something you want to think about for a long time. And if moving away is what he needs to do to get clarity, then you support him. Let him know that you have his best interest and sanity in mind too. But, also let him know that you love him and that if he's asking for you to be patient, you're willing to do that too.
Give him a bit of time. I think the best move to make is to take this in stride and not freak out. Just be a loving partner and be supportive in your silent patience. And try to feel out if he wants you to wait for him or get started on moving on.
Good luck, sweetness!
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