A
female
age
51-59,
*odds
writes:Dear Cupid,This question is hard to bare. Butt, I have been married for 14 years and have 2 kids. My marriage I thought was okay, until I took a trip to Texas with my mother to meet some realitives i have never meet before. I meet my first cousin A. We got along real well and then we spent the rest of the 2 weeks together. We never did anything physical but, we both feel in love with each other. Hes told everyone in the family how much he loves me. Of course I crying the whole trip home and am now just trying to please my family. I talk daily with my cousin on the computer and some times on the phone. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and wants to marry me. He doesnt care if were cousins. I love him too, but, dont want to hurt my family. What do I do??? Help...todds
View related questions:
cousin, fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (21 September 2008):
 How do you know, you love your cousin more than your husband? Couldn't it be that you just fell in love with him and that could be over sometime? I try to explane you what I have learned about the different aspects of love:Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really control it yourself. It is like being on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning your feelings. It's a chemical reaction or emotional response. This is fun and can create amazing feelings! You can compare it with being drunk. The alcohol in your body makes you happy and you can forget your problems. So when you fall in love you are infatuated in that person. Your can forget all around you and your feelings and cogitations are with this person. You are just happy and don't see any problems.Real, deep, solid love is different. It is the decision to want the best for someone and to make this person happy. The feelings are different to the feelings of falling in love, and you don't always feel anything. But the cheerful feelings will come back again. This is not always the case with the feelings of falling in love. This feelings you will only have a few month or maybe a year or two. The disappear and they will not come back in the same form.So, it dependes a lot on how much room you give your feelings for him. It really has to do a lot about decision and if you would like to decide for your husband, you need to stop talk to your cousin and break up contact with him. It will be dure for soem time, but I think at the end that would be the best way to be happy with your family.You can compare love with driving in a sport car. You have a new car (thats when you are falling in love with someone) and you drive on a road very fast. On the back of your car there is a very nice cloud of dust (your feelings) dispersed from the road. You are having lots of fun and very much enjoy this cloud of dust. But then there suddenly you see a cloud on the sky and it starts to rain. The cloud of dust disappears. Now you can make your decision: You can stopp your car and buy a new one (leave your partner and go with someone else) or you can drive on (stay with your partner) and hope that the rain will stop and the road will dry and the cloud of dust will dispersed from the road again. But if you change the car, you can be sure that also in the new car one day it will rain.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): Well as much as I think that this relationship is wrong, I will treat it with respect. I think you should decide for yourself what is more important, your family or your love with your cousin. But I seriously recommend that you stop trying to experiment your feeling any further with your cousin after all you are already family. But if you find yourself feeling horribly uncomplete and depressed about not being able to be with your cousin, well then go ahead and be with him, if you think your happiness is more important than your family's.
...............................
|
