A
female
age
36-40,
*rtpup
writes:Hello,Apologies in advance, this is quite a long question/conundrum but I will deeply appreciate answers. I asked a question about 6 months ago relating to my disappointment that my boyfriend, of what is now nearly 2 years, won't tell me he loves me.This is a similar question although different. Last night my boyfriend and I had what is probably only our 2nd or 3rd disagreement, or time when we were upset with each other. He basically said that he doesn't want to move in with me, but I find this baffling as we pretty much live together now at his parents house - I stay there most nights of the week, possibly 2-3 nights at my house per month. He has no problem with this situation and I've asked him many times whether he minds, as I am very aware of encroaching on his personal space. His response is always that he likes having me there and doesn't want me to leave - in fact the nights that I go home, he often asks me to come back.I understand that living somewhere with just me and him is a different situation due to organising of day to day things like bills, food etc, but I found it upsetting that he could just say he didn't want to move out with me like that.At this, I kind of asked him what we were even doing and I think his response was wrong when he said "we're just having fun". He apologised for saying that but now I'm just confused as to whether or not he is committed to the relationship or just sees it as something good that doesn't matter either way if it exists or not.Any insights or suggestions of whether I should change things, or what I should do would be great, thank you in advance! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): He said what he felt - that the two of you are "just having fun." Now he is sorry he said it, because it endangers his fun - not because he loves you and wants a commitment. It is time to move on.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 February 2010):
Seems to me that he likes all the fun without the commitment, which is a bad sign. It's all right him keeping you at his house and having all this fun, but there seems to be little sign that he really wants to live with you in a separate house and form some sort of future. I would suggest that you now think very carefully about whether this can continue.
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