A
female
age
36-40,
*nge Anonyme
writes:I met this guy at a party. We got drunk and made out. Next he asked me for a movie and since then we have been seeing each other on and off and chatting over IM. We never got intimate again though he asked me to spend a night at his place once (his intentions weren't clear). Then one day over IM he tells me he has a girlfriend. I didn't believe him because he refused to tell me the details. Also I had never heard her being mentioned by our common friends. For the past two months we have been seeing each other every week. Last week, while at a park suddenly cuddled me.I let him coz I like him. He even asked if we could go to my place.That I refused. Later over IM he says we should meet up and then says whatever happened last time was a mistake and not fair to his girlfriend. I was hurt and confused so I told him that I liked him and that we should stop seeing each other to avoid further complications. Now was I naive in thinking he liked me? True he never said so but why did he keep asking to meet me? What went wrong???
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female
reader, Smellyellie  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 You weren't naive in thinking this at all. It seems like he has been playing you for sex. Unfortuantly men can be like this and there is no way around it.
I would get out of this relationship as soon as possible otherwise you were right on thinking this could lead to future complications.. Think about if you were the girlfriend to this man how would you feel if he turned around and started telling you that he was sleeping around and flirting with other girls??
On the other hand you have done very well by dening him entry into your house by doing this you have done a very sensible thing!!
All I can sayid think about what you are doing!!
Let me know how things turn out!!
Ellie x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): Don't stress over it and don't blame yourself for it. It is his fault. He doesn't seem to know what he wants and possible was just not satisfied with his "girlfriend" at the time, if he did have one.
He did very much lead you on so you were right to think that he liked you.
I would not continue to associate yourself with him, as he sounds just like that drama that people don't care to have in their lives.
Goodluck!
~SY.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): From what you have said it sounds like he was only interested in sex as every time you did meet him he asked you to go back to his or yours. He may or may not have a girlfriend but it seems likely he is using this as an excuse now because you didnt give in and sleep with him and he got bored. Sorry if this sounds horrible or blunt but thats what it sounds like. Just put it down to experience and be glad you didn't go further with him as that always seems to make it hurt so much more. Things I have learned to remember when I first meet a lad is that if they like you they will make it clear, there will be no games and you won't have to work anything out. If he comes up with complicated excuses of why it won't work or why it may be hard but still persues you just turn the other way, it usually means he is going to mess you around! x
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Shouldn't you be happy that this guy isn't seeing you anymore? I mean he has a girlfriend! Nothing went wrong, he just treated you like the typical girl on the side. Basically that 'use them and leave them' attitude. You weren't naive in thinking that he liked you in one way or another, or else he wouldn't have given you any attention. You shouldn't feel stupid or anything, seeing as he is the one that is the jerk. I would just stop talking to him. Stop meeting him. This guy has a girlfriend, so he obviously doesn't treat women right if he is willing to cheat on her. He probably stopped meeting you because he felt guilty. Don't get tied up with guys like this, it will only result in your heartbreak. Not his.
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