A
female
age
30-35,
*ulie93
writes:Hi all.My brother came from his college and he was sharing his experience with me. He is studying abroad. His friends had seen me in pictures because obviously my brother should have shown them our family pictures. Once my brother showed one of his friend's picture and playfully said he wants us to date. The friend name is x.I was surprised because he doesn't want me to date his friends because he know them very well(e.g how they behave to girls)so I guess he said this because his friend is a nice guy and can be a good match for me?once, I and my parents went to my brother's college. My brother introduced all his friends to us including x.He was so cute and hot!We both talked for a few mins and I really enjoyed it.After I reach home,I badly wanted to meet him and talk to him again.Since x is my brother friend i cant talk to him without my brother's knowledge and i cant tell my brother that i want to talk x. That will be obvious that im interested in him. I started to stalk his Facebook and instagram but did not do anything.My mum asked me to invite all my brothers friends for his surprise birthday. Since I don't have their number I invited all of them Facebook. I was excited as i can use this as an excuse to talk to x and get to know him better.All of them replied me except for x. I messaged him in instagram still no reply. after 2 days he changed his instagram to private which I don't know why!I was dissappointed actually that he is ignoring me.I guess he is not interested in me so I moved on. After 2 weeks later he replied to my message when my brother is not with him.i was surprised. I thought he will never. It was obvious that he was nervous when chatting with me. Now,is he really not interested in me or he is but hesitating to talk to me because of my brother. I'm confused. And what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): Even if he didn't have inappropriate pictures; if you're not in his list of contacts, you wouldn't see them anyway. Sometimes people do slip and he has to catch them first. He got your message; and still may show-up. He just doesn't want to communicate with you on social media. he may have a girlfriend or a lady of interest.
I think he's being a loyal bud to your brother. Don't take it personal.
A
female
reader, Julie93 +, writes (28 July 2017):
Julie93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI messaged him about the birthday party only nothing else.And its a surprise birthday so my brother does not know I messaged his friends.And his instagram was public before I messaged him.There were only few photos and they were not inappropriate photos like you said.If he does not feel right to talk to me then I will stay away from him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2017): X may already have a girlfriend, or maybe he can't make it.
If someone doesn't respond to a message and changes their contacts to private; it means that they don't want messages from you or unknowns; with the exception of the people they've selected or have invited.
He may have some risky pictures or activities that may not be suitable for you. Your brother may have even intervened. He might have mentioned receiving a message from you to your brother, and sought his opinion; which is the proper thing to do. You know nothing about X, except how cute he is. He could be the wildest in the pack.
Guys sometimes setup a bro-code among their circle of buddies, and establish lines that are not to be crossed.
He may show-up anyway, because he'll get the word from their other friends. So don't fret about it. He got the first message.
Do respect when someone privatizes their social media account. We all have a right to decide with whom we choose to communicate. For all you know, X may already have his own rule about dating a buddy's sister; because he may have that same rule about his own sister(s).
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A
female
reader, Julie93 +, writes (27 July 2017):
Julie93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sure it is impossible for him to know that I like him because I did not tell my brother.And even that day we were talking casually.My brother's friends had flirted with Me but they really never thought of dating me as it will make my brother mad.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 July 2017):
 Don't do anything. Because you've initiated contact first and my guess is that he knows you're interested in him. I don't believe in these excuses that he's hesitant to talk to you because of your brother. If someone is interested in you then nothing or no one can stop them.
If he does start talking to you then take it slow. Don't show your eagerness from the word go. Give it time. See how things progress
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