A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy in college a year ago, we worked together in group assignments a lot since then. We never spoke heaps but we when we did it was usually quite deep and we look at each other a lot. He is sometimes really abrasive, it is his personality, and I used to think he hated me, but he assured me he likes me. In time he did things that made me think he liked me more than a friend. He tried to kiss me twice and I slyly turned away trying to make it not obvious that I knew what he was trying. I never wanted him because he is into drugs. Lately I have begun feeling for him too, and he seems to have turned off to me. I put myself out there and sort of let him know I like him (without saying those words) coz I figured that since I rejected him already then he probably wouldnt try again. He ended up kissing me. That was over a week ago, and we have only spoken once since then. We dont usually talk much (which I was fine with coz we were just friends) but know Im confused. I thought he liked me and would want something more out of this, but he is doing nothing. If he was into me he'd contact me and talk about it right? Im so hung up on him it's sad. Any advice on whats happening? and what I should do? Im usually not very forward.
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female
reader, bluecow +, writes (15 December 2011):
I agree with the other poster... if you want something then you have the power to make it happen. Whats stopping you phoning him?
HOWEVER... you have mentioned he is into drugs. Is this the sort of person you can see yourself spending your life with? People on drugs often have mood swings, lie, cheat, steal and generally behave just like the sort of person you dont want to be with.
Please dont be under any illusions that you can "fix" him. He is the ONLY person with the power to come off drugs.
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (15 December 2011):
Well you could wait for him to call you, but then who knows how long that will take?
I'm a firm believer if you want something, go GET IT!
So what I would suggest is if you contact him and ask him if he wants to hang out (non formal and you are friends) so this is not seen as "desperate".
When you see him you can approach the topic of what happened the other week and find out if he wants to take it further with you.
You both really NEED TO TALK.
Without communicating with each other you both wont know where you stand...
so call him, he is your friend after all!
I hope this helps!
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