A
female
age
41-50,
*hezababes
writes:Am a bit confused about the situation am in it also may sound a bit silly. I have been with my partner now for 7-8 years now and I should think i know him but.... When we got together ok we experimented with each other in the bed room department and my sex life with him is still very much enjoyable. We are very sexual active. As time moves on we would love to keep it that way and 1 thing that scares me is him being bored of it so i will occasionally suggest anal sex, as i love it and i thought he didn't mind it either until the other day... Plus a few occasions before this one as well, i was bent over un the doggy style position and was about to screen with exitment when he pulled out and said he couldn't come and he doesn't like giving me anal sex!!! Most of the time i did do it was for him when it was the time of the month for me. He said he 'd rather wait until I came off and do it the way we both enjoy. Now I have the feel for anal sex i love it but he doesn't. I just thought every man loves anal sex with there partners or is he just a weirdo? Could he be gay i don't know what to say to him about this? Please help thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): OP imagine you're a guy for a moment and you have a penis that you love to stick into things.
Is covering it in little bits of shit sexy to you? Is putting it in a hole in that you have to be so gentle with that it can be too hard to get off, hot? Is worrying about doing permanent damage to the one you love's asshole really that appealing?
I mean you really find it hard to understand why your boyfriend may not exactly be turned on by the idea of putting his dick in the place you shit out of and "most of the time" the hole next to it is leaking a sticky, smelly off coloured, rancid blood too? Oh my god, so sexy!
He must be gay if he doesn't find that sexy, definitely.
Seriously, OP that sounds about as sexy as sticking it into roadkill.
That's not to say he won't do it for you though. I do it for my wife because she likes ass play. I don't hate it and I can perform for her so I don't mind. I don't like it, mind you, but for her it's easy to tolerate and he may be the same.
Just not on your period. Blood and shit aren't a good mix OP. That combination of smells and sights is not what most of us consider sexy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): I think anal sex is really gross. I had it couple times only when a guy insisted, and I bled, and it was painfull, and I felt like I am ready to poop.
Unfortunately accidents happen and not seldom. I mean, how gross is that.
If he doesn't like it doesn't make him gay.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2014):
 No, he's not a weirdo , not all men like anal sex.
Lots of men are squeamish about it because obviously it's not the most hygienic procedure, unless after long and awkward preparations. Other men don't like the idea of inflicting pain and discomfort on their partner ( although that would not be your case ).
I am being told that the physical sensation per se is nothing to write home about, it's about the dominance implied in the act. But if a guy is not particularly into being dominant / sexually aggressive, anal sex won't interest him much.
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A
female
reader, chezababes +, writes (9 May 2014):
chezababes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWould like to say a big thanks to Honeypie Getta Mark1978 & Celtic Tiger I will value your comments and I respect the comments made by you all thanks xx
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 May 2014):
 LOL @ CMMP and the lesbian comment!
No he isn't GAY because he doesn't want to give you anal. NOT every man (and NOT every woman wants/likes it). I have never done it, NO intentions of trying it. I've been game for many things sexual, but no anal.
I don't think there is anything wrong with him.
If you have doubts as to why, TALK to him.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 May 2014):
From what you described I think he may be a lesbian.
I don't care one way or another about anal unless I'm with a girl that's into it, if that makes me gay so be it.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (8 May 2014):
 I have never had anal, neither would I want it. Im 36 and have been sexually active for 20 years and never even wanted to try it. Not because of some "its dirty/will it make me gay" attitude, far from it, but its just not for me.
Anal sex can be very painful for some women and a lot of females don't like anal at all. if your partner doesn't like anal then you should respect that not assume he is gay or weird!
Perhaps he id less keen on anal for hygiene reasons? Maybe he is scared of hurting you?
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (8 May 2014):
 I am not entirely sure why you assume he must be gay because he doesn't like anal sex!?
Surely it would be more likely that he was gay if he did like it?
I would say a lot of people do not like anal sex, and I personally wouldn't ever consider it, or be with a partner who wanted it. For me it is a total deal breaker.
Not everyone likes everything - sexual preferences vary from person to person.
From an outsiders viewpoint it looks like he is actually being very respectful of you, and not forcing you to do something just because it is that time of the month.
You are both grown ups in an adult relationship - you should be able to talk to him about what you like in bed.
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