A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for almost two months now and I am beginning to have feelings for him though I am still not sure whether we are a couple or not. I see him a few times a week and stay over with him at least once a week and txt each other everyday, to me it seems like we are a couple but im not sure if he see's us that way. still not entirely sure if we are exclusive or not.I know i should ask him but i am scared to get hurt and i find it difficult opening up to people that i dont know what to do ask him or start to back off and see what happens?? my friends both say ask him or see how things go and if it blossoms into anything naturaly?? any advice would help as to what i should do or how to ask etc?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy mate ended up asking him while we were on a night out and he said its just a bit of fun I'm not the kind of guy to settle down but then called me his 'bird'. I ended up angry and was slightly drunk so started dancing with his mate and supposedly his mate start to apoligise for trying to get with me and he said it was fine but she coming home with me. I remained quiet for the following day and he asked if I was ok I said I was fine but to be honest I don't know what to think. I don't know if he knows that my mate told me what he said I just played dumb to it. I'm not sure what to do now
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the advice I'm still really scared of asking him though making me feel ill at the thought of it but I know I have to ask to settle my mind just hope it turns out the way I want it too
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (11 January 2012):
 If you're feeling low because of your job then wait a while before you talk to him.
And don't do it via text. Lots of things are misinterpreted when texting. You need to talk to him in person.
Don't be scared. You have a right to know where the relationship is heading :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe just introduces me by my name whenever i've met his mates. I know I have to ask as it going round and round in my head but just lost my job today that dont know if i can take another disappoint if he says no right now...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): You'll just have to ask him. Does he introduce you as his girlfriend? Or are you introduced by just your name (even worse:friend) like you are just some girl he hangs out with?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm the author of the question.
He has introduced me to his brothers and his mates which I think is a good sign too. I know I need to ask him just scared on doing so I think it probably best to do it face to face but would prefer over txt too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi I'm the author of the question.
I've met his brothers and his friends but still not sure if that means anything to him or not. I should really talk this through with him face to face but I'm scared to would rather do it over txt which probably a bad idea?
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (9 January 2012):
Whatever you do, don't start backing off. This will only confuse him.
You don't say much about your relationship with him so it's hard to judge what he might be thinking. Perhaps he just thinks you're exlusive but doesn't think he needs to say anything.
Has he introduced you to any friends, family? That's usually a good sign.
And the best advice I can give you? ASK HIM. Don't worry about getting hurt/rejected etc. If he doesn't think you're exclusive and doesn't want to be, you'll get hurt down the track as well, and even more so. So ask him now.
I don't know what the dating etiquette is like where you live but by two months he should know what he wants. And if he doesn't know or avoids answering your question, it might be time to re-evaluate things.
For all you know, he probably thinks you're exclusive and hasn't even thought about saying somethign about it. Back in the day, my boyfriend, when I asked him what he and I were, said 'I can't even believe you have to ask!'
So just ask :)
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A
male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior  +, writes (9 January 2012):
 Your question is one that I have had to answer and ask, many times in life.
It usually plays out like this: Either she will ask me if I want to date other people, because she wants to know if she can be exclusive to me.
Or, I will ask her, if she will be willing to be monogamous with me. Because, I am wanting to be monogamous with her.
It seems that you are at a good time in your relationship to pop that monogamy question. It is a perfectly natural and normal question. And, it could lead to better love in the future when he says yes, he only wants you!
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