A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I could be totally imagining this, so put me in my place if you think I'm wrong. There is an older man I work with who is definitely married but he doesn't wear his ring (you work in an office - wear the ring, right?!) He is very high ranking so naturally I avoid him like the plague. Anyways, every time he walks by my workspace (usually a couple of times a day) it feels like his eyes are always on me. There's nothing else to look at when he walks by, but still - this has been going on for months. I usually look up at him, but he always looks down and away quickly without speaking. I thought maybe I was creeping him out so I stopped looking up, but he keeps staring. I have good peripheral vision:) If I pass him walking, he always says hi and uses my name in a low breathy tone. Sometimes his eyebrows flash and he smiles like he's happy to see me, but it could just be recognition. Other times he barely makes eye contact, but still says hi. It's a little hot and cold. Sometimes I'll catch him checking me out up and down. One time he followed behind me walking for quite a distance and I just felt like the back of my body was being ogled. Sometimes we'll even get in each others way even though no one else is around. It's weird.I might be imagining this - I don't know. I would never act on this and I highly doubt he would either, but I just get this static feeling when I'm around him that there's some chemistry. Maybe I'm crazy. Any thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): You say you have caught him checking out your body, up and down. Yeah he is interested and going beyond the typical ogle of a woman. I'd be so creeped out by it.All off that equals a dirty old man or pervert to me.Secretly, I am betting you like the attention to some degree but stay away from this guy. It's bad news.If you got involved the company may find a way to get rid of one of you and I wonder which one they would consider more valuable to keep in their position.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2013):
 NOT wearing a wedding ring is not a sign that he’s a cheater or a liar or anything other than he does not like to wear rings… my husband never wore rings before me… when we got engaged he started wearing a ring to get used to it.. he hates it but he wears it.. My dad when married never wore a ring.. he still does not wear any rings at all… never did. The wearing of a ring is not what makes a person married.
Deep sigh, I love these posts… folks always try to make the “perp” sound like they are coming on to them.
He probably looks at you because your attractive. He’s married NOT DEAD.
He says your name “in a low breathy tone” please… that doesn’t mean anything.. maybe it’s just the way he says your name… it sounds like something out of a Danielle Steele novel…
So occasionally when he sees you he smiles… that sounds so…. FRIENDLY… and personable….
You felt like the back of your body was being ogled… ummm just because you felt it does not make it so…
OP SAID: “Sometimes we'll even get in each others way even though no one else is around. It's weird.”
Nope not weird that happens to me all the time with total strangers more than friends that I’m in tune with….
“I would never act on this “ says the OP
AND that is the CRUX of it… he’s NOT into you. HE’s NOT ogling you… YOU find him attractive on some level and want him to want you…. You don’t want to actually do anything… you want to be able to tell him “stop wanting me” but he doesn’t want you… you want him to want you….. like the old AC/DC song…
As a happily married (albeit there are some days I could kill the boy) woman, who flirts outrageously with everyone I can tell you that this is in your head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): I'm single and I work very hard. I'm not asking for attention by any means, but I have been distracted by the staring - I can't help it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Hi I was in the same position as you except I was told by a friend that the guy did in fact like me, this guy also never mentioned his wife until it came out in a group conversation.Now I found people often get on there high horse and tell you he's married end of. But I disagree I think yes sometimes men are mean and treat there wives badly and you should steer clear but some aren't.I think sometimes if you get to know them by talking to them and others you can get a feel of what they are really like.In my situation people still think I'm a bad person as I made friends with him knowing he liked me but by becoming friends we now have a close relationship and are firm friends. I though there was chemistry and so did he but when we got know each other we realised that its wasn't sexual but in fact we just clicked as individuals.Sometimes it's possible, I say get to know him ask about him to him and to other people. You never know.Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): He sounds like trouble...older, married, no wedding ring...staring at you. I would say that he's aiming to find something on the side, and he's obviously attracted to you. How much older is he? At the end of your message, you suggested chemistry...are you feeling that for him too?
Married men or men living with baby mama and child are off limits, in my opinion. They're unavailable, yet looking for sex on the side. They're better off leaving their situation and being single if they want that kind of action.
If I were you, I'd just call him out one day, and say "Hey, listen, I know you've been checking me out, and I know you're married, and I'm not cool with it, so please stop." If you do have an attraction to him, I would still put an end to it. I realize some people act selfishly, at the expensive of everyone else, but search yourself and consider if you were his wife in the situation and how that would make you feel.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Tread lightly here. Are you single or divorced? Him not wearing a wedding ring is NOT a good sign.
He is sending signals. He is a guy and believe me, if given the opportunity he would act on what he is thinking if you gave him the green light.
Ogling other women (that elevator look...up and down is so disrespectful) and then the women picking up on it is plain creepy. Yeah guys look but not enough to make it obvious to the other woman.
Ewww...he sounds stalkerish too.
Steer clear of this one and give him NO signals back.
Creeper/peeper/stalker--not a good combination.
I feel sorry for his wife. She probably has to endure his ogling of women in public. Men are such dogs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Leave him alone ..he is married and you are just imagining things
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 Act professionally. It's not a good idea to start a relationship at work and with a married man at that. You'll be subject to snide gossip because he has a higher position in the company than you and oh, cause he's married. If all the attention is getting a bit much, it's time to lodge a sexual harassment complaint.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): There's "NOTHING" sexy about wanting someone else's husband.
How would you feel knowing this was your husband making a fool of himself with a co-worker? I doubt the company hired you to entertain and flirt with the boss. It's time to stop worrying about what this pig is doing, and get back to the job the company hired you to do. Unless you want to be the future 2nd ex wife.
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