A
female
age
36-40,
*upidLover
writes:Hey guys!So I've recently joined a gym that was recommended by a personal trainer who works there and bought a guitar from me.I started regularly going to his fun classes and then he decided to give me some one on one training as we would weight train together a few times and then maybe hang around chat a bit then I'd leave.He's funny and really good at what he does.This week though strangely he's been acting a bit more distant with me. A friend from the gym who's been going a lot more reckons he likes me but I'm curious to know why he's gone all cold. Could this mean he has a crush on me?
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female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (14 February 2018):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey all! Thanks for the replies, him and I are dating now :) it turns out he actually did think I was taken lol
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2017): He may be on the rebound and enjoy some feelings of being attractive to another woman because being heart broken kills your feelings of feeling alive and excited about life. So, maybe he's trying to replace the heartbreak with the feeling of euphoria that comes from a new relationship or an infatuation? Everybody loves the high of being wanted. It gives us all an extra skip in our step.
From my own experience, I was with my personal trainer for about 2 years. He was gorgeous and fit and sweet. When I first started out as his client, I was married. My husband did not love the idea of me going to him but he supported my decision. Well, as you can imagine, a close, personal relationship developed as it often does when you spend 2-3 sessions a week with this person. Boundaries are crossed and professional lines are blurred.
I ended up falling for him. And I was absolutely convinced that he fell for me too. He listened to all my marriage problems as my husband and I were not solid in our marriage at that time. I told him I wasn't happy. He supported me and gave me his advice. It was my trainer who suggested I should walk away from my marriage, that I would be better off. I was brain washed so to speak as I was absolutely and completely infatuated with my trainer. And I saw this fairy tale ending for the both of us. I truly believed he wanted me to leave my husband, become a free woman, and the both of us could then be together as a couple.
I was wrong.
What I found out was he was already seeing another client through a mutual male friend who was also his client. My trainer and this other female client were an item. But I never knew this. He kept it hush hush. I guess I am not surprised by that looking back. One day, I went in to talk to him and he was training this other woman. I knew her but I did not know she was the one he was seeing. I remember her eyeing me in an uneasy, suspicious way. I remember thinking hmmmm, what's up with her? Likely she was nervous about his other female clients too, myself included. I think she may be right to be concerned as I believe he was somewhat of a play boy. He did mislead me. He did cross professional boundaries with me. I can remember some very personal, intimate sessions where he stretched me. And they involved some very risqué moves with my legs being spread apart and him being in between them with some very intense eye contact going on. I do believe he was setting me up to make a move on him as he did not want to because I was married. But I did not follow through for the very same reason: because I was married. When I told my other friend, also his client, about the stretching sessions, her mouth went wide open. She was shocked he did that and said he never did that to her, ever! She only wishes! She always thought he had feelings for me and was surprised he took up with the other client. Well, him and that client have now been married for about 4 years. I have heard he married her for her money as she owns several businesses. I suspect she will always be uneasy about him as he is still a personal trainer. So, her cross to bear.
But my point is, these guys can be very charming. And even if you did land him, you would never be at ease with his job. You would never trust him. And this would slowly kill your relationship. You would always hate his line of work. Unless you are super woman, you would find it difficult to handle this day in and day out. Having your man constantly surrounded by other women. Opportunities always at his feet.
Better to concentrate on a man who is not going to cause you stress and worry for most of your entire relationship.
Guys like this are hard to date and invest your future in.
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (8 August 2017):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thank you guys for your answers :)
He recently went through a break up and he actually moved here for her. I think there were hard feelings.
Anyway I already know PTs are supposed to be friendly to get business I knew that all along. I am certain he is attracted to me though but anyway I'm not looking for anything serious with him I was just curious to know of his sudden change in behavior.
I am dating someone right now anyway and just enjoyed the chemistry this PT and I had going.
In the mean time I'll be non chalant and friendly about it all and try not to feel awkward around him lol
Thanks
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 August 2017):
 Not necessarily. It might mean he has got you to get a membership and he is off to find more members.
Or he has a GF/partner and he doesn't want YOU to misunderstand his friendly behavior.
I don't think I have EVER met a personal trainer who wasn't a tad flirty and super friendly. It's part of the job to keep their clients AND the Gym happy.
If he has pulled back I would just continue to be nice and polite but not go out of my way to try and engage him in conversation. After all, if someone pulls back it's not a sign to go CHASE them.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 August 2017):
 Ah go figure, that's really a difficult question, with so little info we can base a reply upon..
Anyway, FWIW- I'd say no. What, he's got a crush on you and he acts colder ? that's counterintuitive, wouldn't it be more normal that, having a crush on you, he 'd try HARDER , he'd be warmer and friendler ?...School kids do the " I like her so I will ignore her " thing . Not grown up men.
There could be other reasons for this little cooling off that you have sensed. For instance, it could be the opposite, maybe he noticed that you like him- and he does not want now that anything could be misconstrued, and that you could get wrong ideas.
Or, his boss pulled his ears because personal trainers are supposed to be friendly , fun, engaging ,even flirty - but with everybody, not with one specific client - If they use their workplace to hit on potential conquests( and they do, at times ) they have to be very subtle and discreet about it, in order not to stir up moods and jealousies among the clients.
Or, alas, personal trainers do sell a product, either on their own behalf or on their employerìs behalf. They drum up business- rather typically they will be all over you at the beginning, but, once the client is fidelized and sure to come back, they'll relax and ease up the personal attentions.
Or... he may actually be attracted to you.. and then have realized that he has a partner already so he needs to cool it down. Do you know if he is single and available ? ...
All these things seem to me to make more sense in an adult male than ignoring you BECAUSE he likes you in a special way.
Then again, not knowing much about the situation... go figure. Maybe he is super shy. Maybe he is a bit weird. Maybe he thinks you are taken.
Is not urgent, is it ?:) wait and see how things develop. Keep smiling and being friendly - without chasing after him. If he bought stuff from you, I suppose he will have your phone number, so if he is actually interested, and he is thinking about making a move , he should be able eventually to overcome his shyness or professional scruples or whatnot, and ask you out.
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