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*etafore
writes:hi im 67 years old and have this niggling problem i dicovered when i walked in on my father haveing sex with my eldest sister this was when i was 14 my sister see me but dad did not and they carried on i am sure that her youngest child who is now around 30 is my fathers both my father and sister have died but it still plays on my mind Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2016):
 What a terrible thing you have had to keep quiet all your life. What made you never ask them? I do hate that you call it sex, because to me it sounds like rape.
I think you should talk to a sexual abuse therapist about what you saw, as am sure at that age it must have left some damage on you to see that, probably not understanding the full context off what it did mean seeing your sister and father like that. You more than likely do need to talk to someone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): They werent having sex, your father was raping your sister. She was a child - his child - and what you witnessed was a terrible thing to have to see and it's very sad that it did not all come out while they were alive. It's a very awful thing for you to have to witness and have the burden of the secret on your shoulders. Did your sister get pregnant young? If she was around 14/15 when she had her child then perhaps your dad was the father. Alternatively she could've sought the affections of a bf to help distract her from the turmoil she was facing from your dad and ended up pregnant by someone else With no one to ask you can't know when the abuse stopped but I would hope once she moved out of the family home she was no longer subjected to being abused and assaulted.With your sister no longer here, going to her child and saying you think her grandad is actually her father will cause a hell of a lot of trauma. I recommend you seek out a specialist therapist who deals with sexual/childhood abuse as you will be able to talk to them about what you saw and get it off of your chest. Keeping that secret can weigh you down, they will help you work out what steps you want to take but right now I would not act too hastily.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): With answers like the ones you've been given here I'm not surprised incest and sexual abuse by family members remains a hidden shame. Please work with a professional therapist in sexual abuse or family abuse to discuss your feelings and to work out a way forward that feels right. A professional will be able to make you aware of services to help.
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (26 November 2016):
 At this late stage in the game what good could possibly come of it if you say something? You don't know that you are right and if you are wrong or right you are going to cause a ton of hurt to at least one innocent person.
You don't know that your sister participated willingly do you?? There's no one to ask now. I'd venture a guess that your dad was forcing your sister and maybe she was too frightened to question him or to fight.
Sometimes its just better to let sleeping dogs lie sir, and I think this is one of those times. Why open up Pandora's box???
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (26 November 2016):
 It is highly unlikely this girl is your father's daughter. After all, the abuse you witnessed - let's not pretend it was anything other than that - was 53 years ago. The "child" in question is 30. That would mean the abuse continued for 23 years or more, and well into your sister's adult life.
You are obviously still traumatised by what you witnessed, and understandably so if you did not get help at the time to get over this shock. Can you talk to your doctor about getting some sort of counselling help?
Please don't mention your fears to your niece. For a start, you have absolutely no evidence she is your father's child. Secondly, you have no right to completely turn her life upside down.
I do hope you will get the help you need to finally move on from this awful memory.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 November 2016):
 Do you think anything good can come from revealing it? If not, I wouldn't.
You say they had sex, but I'd call that sexual abuse, not sex. And if your sister never told her daughter, I don't think it's your place to do so.
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