A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:What do you think of this one? My spouse and I have been having trouble the past 2 years. I found out he cheated on me, a very long time ago with a so called friend. She was passive aggressive with me over the years and when I found out why (aka the cheating) I unfriended her but he says he won't becasue her and her hubby are too interconnected to our entire social circle. This is a major rub between us... he is still trying to be nice to me, but I can't get over this betrayal and offers no words of consulation.Last week I find TWO emails from different singles dating websites. We also have friends who send unsavory junk... is it possible we got spam via the junk mail we receive from others? Or is this another major red flag? I asked him why we got this and he said he didn't know... I deleted it and clicked unsuscribe, and he got kinda miffed at me.What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): Me again. Marraige counseling I got him to go only once. I went several times. It seems if this relationship is to heal, I have to do most of the work. And I am getting tired.
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 What I think is that this man has no respect for you. He cheated on you with a friend, then refused to stop talking to her because she and her husband are "too interconnected to our entire social circle" ???
I'm pretty sure when you've cheated on someone, are forgiven, and then asked to stop talking to the person you cheated with... that is one of the easier requests you're going to get. He wouldn't even do that for you, when it is beyond a reasonable request. Why on earth would you ever feel comfortable with them communicating after they'd had an affair?
The emails could be junk, but what if they're not? I'm not usually an advocate for snooping, and it kind of pains me to suggest this to you, but I think you should monitor his email. If he's signed up to dating sites, you have a big problem.
I wish you the best of luck with this, and I hope you get your answers soon.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Because he cheated on you, you are now in distrust mode. This is perfectly understandable, but make sure you don't over think things. Whenever you go looking for trouble, you can pretty much use anything to support your suspicions. I get e-mails from singles dating sites, all the time, and I have never in my life subscribed to one, it's just spam. Now if he is getting specific e-mail, directly to him, from users on those sires, then that is a different story.
Have you tried marriage counseling? It could help both of you move past the cheating incident, and start the healing of your marriage.
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