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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend is lovely, and a really sweet girl but she tends too talk about her dad as if he is some sort of monster. She tells me things that he has done in the past such as scratching other peoples cars if he has a scratch on his, to make him feel better. She tells me this in front of my parents and i feel embarassed as I don't want them too think her dad is a psycho. She also makes out he has a huge temper 'because he is italian' and that he is a monster. Also she says things like 'if my dad found out i've had sex with you' he would go mental. And 'He would kill you...' and 'I dunno if he would hurt you or not...' etc etc. Why does she do this? it does not impress me one bit in fact it makes me dislike her dad a lot more. I could go on all day with some of the things she tells me but you get the idea. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, midgetgem +, writes (15 August 2006):
 You really need to talk to your girlfriend about this!
Sit her down and tell her you're uncomfortable about some of the stuff she's been saying about her Dad. If she's having you on then this is her chance to tell you the truth!
Whatever whe says you can ask her to be descrete. Tell her you're dating her not her father and you'd rather she didn't bring up these stories in front of your parents as they'll only worry.
If her Dad is really all that bad she's gonna need your support and understanding but either way try to make it a deal that the gory details are not discussed in front of your family.
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 My friend, you have 2 choices:
1. Tell your girl you are a bit undeasy with all the weird stuff she is saying about her dad
2. Dont date her, stay friends for a while and see how things pan out.
You have to remember that you are with this girl, you are dating HER, if she is a young lady i.e. over 18, there is pretty much nothing her father can do about it its her life, but if age is an issue and you are a bit weary of the dad, cool it for a bit and see whether or not you wish to be "part" of the family so to speak. All the best. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): Sounds like she needs help with dealing with her unstable Dad. I think she feels safe with you and thus the outpouring.
In her mind being if that is what she was raised around; she would have no sense of what is "appropriate" to say in front of "others".
I say it sounds like a cry for help.
She isn't trying to impress you; she is just feeling safe and secure that she doesn't have to keep it in and has finally found a listening ear.
See if you can get her some counseling through the school or some agency...call around and see what the options are.
The best thing to do for her and you is get her into counseling. This will slow down the outpouring.
Good luck.
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