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female
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anonymous
writes: I am recently out of a long term marriage....things seem to be resolving themselves and my ex and I are both moving on. I recently joined an online dating service and have been out on a few dates which has been fun. If I am being honest I guess what I want right now is a bit of a rebound fling and have been flirting a bit with a guy online who has the same mind set. I am not looking for more than that right now but wonder about the safety part of it...both physical and emotional. The guy in question lives about an hour from here....so it would be more discreet. Has anyone had a rebound fling and has anyone had a rebound fling which started through internet dating?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Be sure he's really free. (Maybe mend your self esteem without the risk of hurt??)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): You are both two adults. You both seem to want the same thing...er...sexual playmates.
I caution you as being a woman; you are more likely to conclude that sex=love as woman are more "feeling" centred than males.
Sex is a power and act that should bond two people to one another and further instill feelings of trust, love, respect, and intamacy.
I think too many people abuse sex and with that comes the many problems attached to the loss of repspect for such a great power.
Just be careful. In the end, you will do what you will.
Is there not a way that you can still keep to the casual dating scene; meet men for a drink and talk (no sex) and get to know yourself and others so you can better figure out what it is that you want in life and in a partner.
Best of wishes.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 You seem to know what you want and don't have any great expectations so it shouldn't be a problem. As for personal safety - I think you need to take a friend when you meet him at first and don't go anywhere secluded with him until you are sure he is ok (lots of weird people on the net!). I recall a woman in a similar situation to you who posted here a few weeks back - unfortunately she was still married and internet dating but I will get to the point...she went on the net to have a sexual fling but she ended up falling in love with the guy (who didn't reciprocate in his feelings). You may think you want a fling now but you cannot 100% control your emotions (you know how us ladies get mixed up over the sex/ love thing) so just be careful not to get your fingers burned out there!
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