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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: So my best friend used to be outgoing, marched to the beat of her own drummer, cheerful, happy, and lit up the room wherever she went. Last year she was kind of in this group of friends that were not so great, and DEFINITELY not anything like my friend. She changed when she started liking a guy at work who was the typical Mr. Popular in high school. (They’re all in their 20s.) It’s like she wanted to fulfill the secret desire to be the popular girl in high school...except she's out of college. She's befriends everyone around her and beyond to get that acceptance. Months later she has became meek, didn’t trust her instincts anymore, thinks people judge her. She has become increasingly insecure, tense, worries, and she lost weight. (She wears baggy clothes, but I can tell she lost plenty of weight.) When she went through the death of her cat, she told me how she was in a lot of pain, was crying, couldn’t sleep. She then apologized for being moody, needy, and a “bad friend”. We went shopping and she went to try on a shirt and she asked me if it was too tight, and questioned if it looked okay on her. When I was leaving, she gave me a hug, but it was a long hug. Throughout her childhood, her mom would make comments about her weight. Since her mom didn’t make comments about her step-sister’s weight, she would take it out on my friend instead. My friend’s mom never really encouraged my friend after an achievement, she would always say my friend was “okay” but someone else was better. So my friend has never felt like she did well enough. Now there might be deeper issues or things that I’m not aware of, but she hasn't told me. What things could my friend be going through? Is there a way I can help her?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 September 2009):
Your friend has been through a lot by the sound of it. All you can do is be there for her. She will open up in her own time. Just be there.
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