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His more affluent family treats me like trash!

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Question - (28 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *eehive writes:

So here is my situation: my bf and I have been dating for a year and a half. We both just finished law school, and have jobs lined up. My job is with a small firm, and it pays substantially less than my bf's. He got a big law firm job.

I went to a no-name, state college. My bf went to a good east coast school. His family is affluent. Mine, not so much. I feel very inadequate in his world. Although his family has never said anything to me directly about it, every time they ask where I went to undergrad, and I tell them, they get this look on their faces like I am trash. The first time I met his father, he asked me where I went to undergrad, I told him and then he didn't say anything in reply and barely talked to me the rest of the night.

Just recently, his aunt, asked me where I went to school. I told her...dead silence and that look. It's really getting to me. Then, just the other night, I was an event where there were people from my bf's law firm. One guy asked me where I work, and what kind of law I am going to be practicing. When I told him, he said, "i'm sorry." Again, because I am not good enough.

I expressed to my bf that all of these things really hurt my feelings. (I was drunk). Now, he is mad at me. He thinks I have disparaged his family. I am tired of feeling inadequate and being treated like I am trash around his friends and family. I never really thought that I wasn't an accomplished, smart woman, until I started dating my bf and living in his world. I don't know what to do. Advice appreciated.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 September 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntTish tosh, you've made it all the way through law school and have lined up a job already. Not too shabby, you either ignore the idiots or dump the boyfriend. I wouldn't let anything or anyone put a damper on my success and happiness. Do what feel right to you. Congrats on the beginning of a very exciting (and lucrative by the way) career!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2009):

Girl! This family think you're not good enough? They're not good enough for you!! You can have all the education, all the money, all the affluence in the world. But if you're a crap person or crap to the people around you, what difference does this make? You spoke with your boyfriend about it, he's mad and isn't listening. My advice would be to ditch this snooty lot and find a better guy. You have a job, you have a great personality and you deserve better than to be treated like trash. Just leave, give yourself time to heal and find a great guy who wants to be with you, because you ARE YOU and not someone else. Lots of luck.

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