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I think my doctor likes me

Tagged as: Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2010) 33 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2015)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I think my Doctor likes me. i know I like him. He gives me a hug.. and our visits last like an hour. How would i know for sure?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2015):

if he's available why not? i had a doctor who had a crush on me, he would stared at me during visits, touch my arm every time he could and finally one day he told me how much he really wanted me. I just panicked because I knew he was married. I changed doctor and forget about him. It was tough cause i really liked him but married men are out of the question for me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012):

question:I think my Doctor likes me. i know I like him. He gives me a hug.. and our visits last like an hour. How would i know for sure?

Answer:

Whew! Sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle here. So, you really like this doctor a lot. You're smitten, you have a crush, you desire him. I can dig it! Doctors are professionals in the business of helping people feel good. His charisma is natural, he fits his part--he is a doctor ya know ;)

Now, he hugs you. He spends an awful long time with you. That doesn't mean he's interested in you. My doctor spends a long time with me. I'm a pain in the ass patient who asks a LOT of questions. This is just how it is! I think what you should consider are the ethical ramifications of a doctor dating their patient. He's NOT going to throw away a really cushy career, possibly ruin his chances of paying back 200,000 + is educational costs (if they aren't paid off yet) ruining his personal life and reputation for some attractive woman.

EVEN IF HE LIKES YA ;) So, if you want to know for sure...do not go to him any more. Type of an official letter that you're asking to be removed as his patient. Have him photocopy it and put it in your file. Ask him for a referral to a new doctor. Let him know that you're changing doctors because you feel uncomfortable around him. It's NOTHING that he has done, but if he'd really like to know for him to feel free to contact you after a suitable time has passed...and you'd be happy to explain over coffee.

If he calls--then yes, he's into you. If not...forgetta bout' em and find some one who can date you legally :)

Best of luck!

PS a lot of doctors do not wear their rings at work because of the constant hand washing! So no ring doesn't mean single.....

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 October 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntWell you are half way there. All you have to do now is divorce your husband.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OMG! I found out he is not married but divorced!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To the last poster your right. It's most likely infautation mixed with fantasy. After all.. he's been very compasstionate with my feelings. I just can't stop counting the days till I see him.. UGH!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010):

To the OP totally understand how you feel, sometimes those crush/infatuation feelings are sooo strong they feel like love, I have been there done that with my doc but in reality, I knew very little about him to have any real true love feelings for him. What about all the bad things? The stuff that drives his wife round the bend- sometimes it's better to keep these things as fantasy as realising and acting on your feelings can be a let down. He might kiss like a wet fish!!! Haha

use your feelings to motivate you to get better if that applies to your situation, all the best x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ha. Yeah.. I'll take my H along.. that would be funny!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010):

Take your husband along for the visit.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (2 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntHa! I'm not sure I would apply the word "think" to it, interesting Freudian slip there. There's not much "think"ing going into it. More like impulsive behavior. Good luck with the hormones!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Haha! Ok.. I see your not for a think like this Tisha!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntAnd what if he does? I expect you're not the first woman who's had the hots for him. I wonder how big a part of his malpractice premium covers sexual harassment charges?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I don't know? Look I have all these intense feelings for my Doc.. it's driving me up the wall..and I'm very curious to know if he feels the same way.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntAnd why have an affair in the first place?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

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It ended in a peaceful way. Just both not wanting to take anything further.. that was that!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntAnd that ended, how?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Eyes.. He is not my first crush. I've had many over my lifetime. This one caught me off gaurd. The sexual tension is building more and more with each visit. Last visit he sat next to me.. and I wanted to lean over and kiss him. On many occasions while going over medical stuff.. our eyes have locked.. and I've gone into a blank stare.I'm sure he notice that. Tisha..I had one emotional affair in the past.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntHave you had much practice with extramarital affairs?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntIs this your first crush? Did you ever have one in your schoolgirl years?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ha! Know..I am not seeing him for hormones. He's my primary Doctor. But.. I am in peri-meno.. so I do have some hormone issues going on. LOL. Not new on the market. Married.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI hate to ask, but are you seeing him for out of control hormones? :/

Sounds to me like you are fairly freshly back on the market and perhaps need to focus on what is best for you, rather than what is stimulating, if you know what I mean. Rollercoasters are very poor choices for a daily commuting vehicle, ya know?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes.. it does depend on his character. And something tells me he has the same sort of feelings for me.. you can just feel it in the air.. do you know what I mean? Gosh.. this is driving me right up the wall!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI guess if he's a faithful guy, he'll wish you well and give you a goodbye hug and then leave it be. It depends on his character, doesn't it?

If he's not a faithful guy, then maybe he'd get your number and find a way to sneak off with you somewhere.

It boils down to his take on being a faithful spouse.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I was thinking all night about this and I think it may be for the best that I find a new Doctor. I hate to give him up.. but my feelings are far to intense.. and they won't go away. Should I just be up front and honest with him about this? If I am how do you think he might react?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010):

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Not really looking for drama.. rather looking to be true to my feelings. I think I will wait and see if he makes a move.. it almost looked like it was heading that way the other day.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntAh, then you are looking for drama. Okay, well, then, by all means, go for it. Just be prepared for a 'no' and for amused sideways looks from his office staff. And maybe you should wait until he gets to the bottom of the 'issues' so you don't have to start all over with another doctor!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well.. Tisha I can feel the attraction as the air is thick during our visits. He started the hugs... and I look forward to them. While I know he's a full of compassion as a Doc.. I can sense there is more going on here in both of our minds. Am I looking for something from him.. sure am.. if the feeling is mutual. I know it must sound awful.. but I have it bad for him. 3

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

person12345 agony auntHmmm it's difficult to say, since he could get in a LOT of trouble for making a move if you were to get uncomfortable or report him or something. I like Tisha's advice, about saying you need to change doctors because you like him. Then make your move.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntMy doctor is built like a wrestler, all muscles and strong. I get a hug too, I'm a nice person, he's a nice person. He's married, so am I. There's nothing else there but good wishes.

"Does he like me?" It sounds so much like the question that a high school girl would ask. Are you looking for love or looking for drama?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Tisha,Not a shrink! And is he available.. NO.. but..yeah I know that's not good!!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntUm, if he's your psychiatrist, he knows exactly what's going on in your head.

I notice you didn't answer the question about whether he's available or not. So I assume not. I guess you're just going to have to decide what's more important, your crush on an unavailable medical professional or your 'issues.'

Take care!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well.. the thing is, I don't want to lose him as a doc.. he is good.. and I think he may be the one to figure out my issues. But..lord he is HOT in my book. I sense he feels it to. I wore this real sexy bra when I saw him yesterday.. I believe I got his attention. LOL

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (30 September 2010):

The Realist agony auntYou could always ask him if he would like to go out for a drink or something or for his number so that you can talk to him about it outside of his profession because his involvement with a patient can be harmful to his job. You would definitely want to talk to him since you may need to switch doctors if you two want to date.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntYou would have to not be his patient, I think. Perhaps say, "I need to change doctors as I find myself attracted to you." Then be sure he has your number and contact information, go find yourself another doctor and wait to see if he contacts you. If not, you could try calling him up to make a date for coffee.

Is this doctor actually an available man? Single, no wife, not engaged or otherwise tied down?

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