A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think my Dad is cheating on my Mum and i don't know what to do. I am sure he loves my mum and our family but i saw some searches on the internet for escorts all around the world and for things like 'worldwide sex,' he is away on business a lot and each of the cities he visits has come up on our google history with 'escorts,' or 'sex,' written after it.I am so angry with him, we have always had a close family but now I can't even look at him and I don't knwo what to do. I have two sisters but dont feel I can talk to either of them about it.Should I confront my Dad? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. We all look to our parents, expecting them to be role models. Anytime infidelity is suspected or occurs, it's hard to wrap out heads around this or know what to do.
Some helpful sites that I found to help me think through this include http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=1RQIZuILR3_2f3prJu71z_2bYw_3d_3d and askpeggy.com.
Good luck! I know you'll make the right next step.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): hey!im going through the same thing with my parents. does ur mum think he is cheating on her. ask her to talk to him about it. if he gets in a mood, which my dad does, root everywhere 4 evidence to prove it. look on the computer. pretend ur looking for someting then say "hey dad, wats this?" he'll have to answer. if he walks away, pretending not 2 hear u, there is ore chance that he is. also, look on his phone numbers on his mobile, and his inbox and outbox. hold on cos im in the same boat.luv elandia (not real name)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): please help me ...........
my parents had an arranged marriage but they still liked each other.
right now they are in a huge fight and they won't talk to each other because i asked them to stop fighting.
my mum found loads of presents and a card saying '' my life is better with you ...... , absence makes the heart grow fonder ....... '' and there was a weird pet name ....
i don't know what to do ?? my dad says he isn't having an affair but he is always on '' buisness trips''. i don't know what to think I AM ONLY 13!
my mum was crying and my dad hit her before (but not that hard).
if my dad has presents for that woman and her son and never gives me presents then what does mean.
when they talk my dad raises his voice and starts swearing and shouting.(i am crying) i told my parents that they should get a divorce but nothing is happening.i also told them that i wasn't tromatized by the fight but the truth is i am . i am sad and depressed and i don't know what to do. everything reminds me of them fighting. they will never work it out........
please help me and give me advice
thank you
AliciaM xxx
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A
female
reader, Crisy +, writes (12 December 2007):
 you could either drop hints to your dad or tell him you found the web site and see what he does or you could tell your mum and let them sort it out between them, she does have a right to know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): Yes...I would agree that you should calmly sit your Dad down and tell him what you know. Don't confront or be angry. You are an adult...behave like one. You have feelings and thoughts and you know something that this could very well blow up this family. Find your strength and use it. He's being a crappy husband and doing an very unloving thing to his family. Family is not all about 'just him'. His crappy actions will affect everyone and deeply hurt Mom. It's quite possible she may know...wives sense infidelity a mile away. She may be dealing with it quietly. You have a right to say to Dad, how you found out all this information and how this is making you feel. And he needs to stop and listen. What your father is doing is self-involved and he's risking the possibility of mindlessly taking his family down. I for one, think it would be good for Dad to feel remorseful/embarrassed, that you know. He needs a psychological 'kick in the butt' in order to come to his senses. Your words might knock some sense into his head. And even on the off chance that Mom is aware of his affairs and is tolerating it...it's quite another thing for him to to the harsh reality that that his "own daughter knows, and that she is very disappointed and has lost respect for him". That might be the motivation he needs to get his act together. He needs to be forced to take responsibility for the future possibility of 'blowing up his family' with his infidelities and you might have more impact than your Mother ever would. (if Mom knows).
If you can't do this face to face with Dad, write him a letter and tell him exactly how she feels about what he is doing. But irregardless of whether you talk to him directly or you write him a note, you need to remember, that you can only speak and use your voice. There is no guarantee that you will '' make Dad rethink his bad behaviors. Sadly, it's his marriage, his life and no one can stop him from ruining it. It's just sad, that when one person acts out like this, how he ruins the harmony and solid base of Family...and causes durees and so much unhappiness to the lives of so many who love him.
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A
female
reader, angelblueeyes +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Hi
The first thing i would say is don't jump to any conclusions just yet without having a chat with him first, it may not seem like it now but there may be a perfectly good reason why this is in your history & it doesn't mean he is cheating on your mum.
I look up many of strange things on the internet purely out of curiosity nothing more.
I'm sorry i cant help you any more than that i hope you get on alright with the talk keep us posted!
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 December 2007):
 You should discuss what you've seen with your Dad, otherwise your relationship with him will become very strained. Don't shout and scream, you don't know his side yet, only what you've seen on the computer. Maybe you should write him a letter or email, he can consider your points and you can fully get your feelings out (writing your feelings down is also very therapeutic).
But you have to remember, you don't know what goes on in a marriage. You might have to consider that your parents might have an agreement between them, sometimes affairs and related issues can help save a marriage on the rocks.
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