A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am a bit worried about my boyfriend, as i think he is gay, been together 2 years and he tells me everyday that he loves me, he always wants sex with me most the time and he mainly makes the first moves, he kisses me alot and holds me all night, when we have sex it only takes him a few seconds to get hard, and he always climaxes. the reason im having thoughts is just the way he acts sometimes, he is a very clean freak and organised person, and when i asked him the other night if he was gay as a joke he turnt and said no but he went all nervous when i asked him. i dont know if hes gay, he loves his football, he aint into fashion he is quite simple when it comes to that,and he is normal around other blokes. he is also a breast man he dont leave my boobs alone at times. so are these some signs he is gay? if not what are the signs? i would like to have an opinion from gay men too as you will know all the signs, and what should i watch out for?
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female
reader, Blonde_J +, writes (24 June 2010):
Seriously - STOP WORRYING! Sounds like you've got a pretty near perfect bloke here and its freaking you out so much you're trying to pick holes in him to make yourself feel secure. Only one real 'test' of homosexuality - does he want to have sex with boys or girls - if the answer is girls he's straight. Don't sabotage what you have over some silly niggle! Relax and enjoy. If you don't want him to clean - tell him to stop - or just make more mess. :)
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 He shows ALL the signs of normal straight men and you think he's gay because he likes to keep a clean house?
I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous reasoning. NOTHING in your entire post leaves even a hint that this guy is gay. A lot of straight men are fussy about cleanliness and a lot of gay men are terribly sloppy. It doesn't mean anything.
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A
female
reader, Elydiese +, writes (24 June 2010):
He likes everything clean? he probably has OCD he likes having sex with you he likes you boobs he always initates contact first of course he's not gay
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): Do you ACTUALLY think that being neat and tidy and clean are signs of homosexuality? I mean, do you REALLY?
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 June 2010):
 ummm.. if he's gay, he wants to have sex with men and will find it difficult to have sex with women.. easy really
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 What a strange reasoning...If a man is a clean freak and very organized , then he must be gay ??? Why ? Do you see neatness and tidyness as typically feminine qualities...? You haven't met me,lol.
Your post made me smile. When my son was about 11 or 12, he came to me all serious and said ." Mom, I do love Madonna. And Cher. And Gloria Gaynor too ! Does it mean I am gonna be gay ? ".
The only real "sign " is if they are sexually turned on by other males.
All the rest attains to individual tastes and personalities.
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A
female
reader, clleo +, writes (24 June 2010):
Maybe he has Asperger's Syndrome or OCD - lots of men do. Look it up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): he isnt gay. just cause he likes your boobs doesnt mean hes gay, he just has a fetish. and being clean? an added bonus!!!!! so dont worry. enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 If he is your boyfriend he is not gay. If he was a boy's boyfriend he would be gay. That is typically how it goes. Him being organized is NOT a sign of being gay. If he was gay he wouldn't be that interested in having sex with you either, or even being intimate with you at any level. And certainly not for two whole years at his young age.
At top he could be bisexual if you really can't believe him being straight, but the rule for everyone is to be loyal and not cheat, so I don't think you have any concerns. He is your boyfriend. Accept him like he is.
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A
female
reader, Blue Sahara +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Wow, not sure what to say to that one!
No, being a clean, finicky kind of guy isn't the sign of a gay man. Nor is a guy not liking sports, not being into just boobs, or being into fashion. Those things stereotypically are assigned to gay men but that isn't all a gay consists of.
Gay men are gay simply because they are aroused by the same sex. So if a guy is gay he is going to look at other men the way a straight man would look at a woman, probably have gay porn, and probably not be too excited about having sex with a woman. Sure gay men are in relationships with women but those women usually complain about the lack of sex and all the gay porn crashing their hard drive.
He was probably nervous when you asked him if was gay because straight men don't like being called gay. It's offensive to them because gay men are made fun of so much as being almost less than men. Not that they are but they are brutalized with that taunt. So no man wants to be called something that is typically an insult by his friends. Plus, he might have been called it before and it probably bothers him that his own girlfriend sees the same things in him that others have made fun of him for.
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A
male
reader, Trans Am Man +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Just because he's into cleanliness does not mean he's gay. I personally can't stand a dirt home either. If he like sex with you he's obviously not gay.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Just because he's organized and particular about certain things doesn't mean he's gay. A gay man wouldn't be regularly having sex with you, let alone initiating it frequently.
While there's always a chance he might be bi, it doesn't sound like it, so don't worry about it.
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