A
female
age
41-50,
*lanz
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and I think he is into his brother's girlfriend. She has been dating my boyfriend's brother for 4 years now and she is at his house everyday to see her boyfriend. I understand that they have a buddy\buddy relationship but some of the things my boyfriend does freaks me out.When me and my boyfriend hang out with his brother and girlfriend, my boyfriend I catch my boyfriend staring at her when she eats, he is always joking around with her and fails to include me in their joke and when she laughs he stares at her. He also always stands next to her when we hang out. I spoke to my boyfriend and he says I'm being ridiculous and overreacting. He says that he's known her for 4 yrs and is only drawn to her personality because she is more easy going and I take things too personally.Can anyone tell me - is this normal? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, gypsyrose12  +, writes (16 February 2014):
Hi There Blanz my advice to you is to follow your instincts they are always right. If it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. The hardest lesson I have learnt in life is that you have to love yourself first before you can love others because the hardest thing to do is to feel secure within yourself. Once you have mastered this then you are in control. Love yourself, the way you look, the way you dress and you will have all the confidence. Because people are most attracted to those who are secure and confident within themselves. If your boyfriend doesn't appreciate you, and likes you for who you are then there is someone else out there who will. Always remember this and I wish you all the luck.
Gypsyrose12
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): omg my bf Is the same way! It makes me feel so bad whenever he look at her talk to her & smile with her!!! And she always looking at him even though my bfs brother and I there! I hate her ,. One time I asked my bf if he like her he told me I was "tripping" and crazy! I can tell they like each other and idk wat to do...!
...............................
A
female
reader, Nycee25 +, writes (22 December 2008):
Sometimes being confident in yourself, your relationship and knowing that you are strong in your spot might redirect your boyfriend's attention to you. For instance, when you are with them, lighten up and joke along with them even if it seems that they are leaving you out. Maybe you might seem unapproachable and uptight because you are reading into everything. Try to stop analyzing everything and just enjoy yourself for a while until there is cold hard evidence that your boyfriend has an unbearable crush. Maybe there may be a slight attraction, but these types of things are normal--you would be surprised. What makes it wrong is acting on it. Next time your boyfriend stands close to her joke with the both of them. Your boyfriend might feel less pressure from you. He did say you were too serious. Maybe one day try to ask your boyfriend’s brother for advice about your boyfriend (not about this situation but just in general.) This may break the ice between all of you and bring you into the circle!
...............................
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Hi there, Hope you are doing well otherwise. This woman is going to continue her skankiness, so now you didn't say whether or not you spoke to him, to let him know you were not going to put up with the flirtation, which she is going to continue to do, unless he tells her to stop. His ego is being stroked, he likes it. Now here is another suggestion, I would go with them to the casino, if you stay home and he is still your boyfriend, then it's as if you gave in to her crap. I know you don't like his brother, but why not ignore her flirting with your boyfriend, and you start flirting with his brother, start touching his hair, putting your hand on his arm, standing close to him, this is going to possibly cause a ruckus, but so what, give your boyfriend some of the stuff he's been giving you. See how the skank reacts. I would lay it on, and let someone complain about you, I would buy a nice low cut blouse, sexy skirt, get a new hair do, make yourself into the vixen, we can have a contest, tempt your boyfriend's brother, This could cause a problem, but so what, stir it up. Ignore her and start a fire of your own, she likes playing two men at a time, not caring who the men belong to at the time, so give her some of her own medicine. I don't check in here every day, so if you want to e-mail me, [email address blocked], do so, I will answer you here as my computer eats any e-mail I send out.
Be a little daring, new hairdo, get a different make-up job done, maybe professional or let a friend do it for you.
Find a seductive perfume, go out for the hunt, see how she likes you trying to seduce her man. Please let me know what you decide, go on the trip, don't bow to her crap, but if you are going to stay with your boyfriend, you must learn to ignore her tactics. She wants to get under your skin, have you get mad with your boyfriend, maybe drive you away, then she has two of them to fawn over. In the meantime I would be looking around for a guy who wants to give me, and me alone his attention. That would get your mind off of the three of them. :o) Good luck, go get that sexy outfit, get two. What are those stockings called? Fishnet, I think, let's turn it out, be a brand new you, see what happens.
If you do it, I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Start it up!
...............................
A
female
reader, blanz +, writes (29 September 2008):
blanz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advise. Last night there was another episode where me, my boyfriend, his brother and girlfriend were all playing cards. His brother's girlfriend was wearing this low cut tank top and was busting out all over the place. My boyfriend was smoking a cigarette and his brother's girlfriend had the nerve to take a puff from his cigarette when I was sitting right next to him.
Then she takes my boyfriend's new cell phone and looks at it as if it's her own then tells him that he got a text message..oblivious to the fact that I'm there sitting right next to him. In a few weeks the 4 of us are going to a concert and staying for the weekend at a casino. I am thinking of cancelling because I can't deal with this anymore. What can I do? Fight with my boyfriend because she took a puff of his cigarette or that she is too open with him? He and his brother don't see this. Only I do because I am a woman.
...............................
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (2 July 2008):
Hi there, Based on what you have told us, I would say at the least, your boyfriend is somewhat infatuated with his brother's girlfriend. He may not want to admit it, but people are not always in control of their emotions, and body language will show up your real feelings. He has formed an attachment to this woman. Which is not unusual, Ethel Kennedy's sister dated Bobby Kennedy, prior to the tow of them getting together. Relatives sometimes like the same people, but most try to control themselves. Now what to do, the only thing I can suggest, since you have already talked to him about it, is to be as loving as you can. But it is imperative to understand, that he may not want to act on this, but in the meantime, how are you feeling about it. If his brother marries this girl, she will then be in the family, and your worry will still be there, unless your boyfriend gets over his crush on her. If he does not love you enough, to at least try to change, how he acts around her, then long hard thinking has to go on, on your part.
This may be a little too much for you to continue to observe, I don't know, you have to make the choice. If you can live with it, that is what could happen, if you can do what I am going to suggest, then do it, if not, then things will probably go on as they have with him denying he is somewhat fascinated with his brother's girlfriend. My suggestion, is that you give him an ultimatum, let him know that although he says you are overreacting, you have observed him in action, and his words belie what is actually happening. If he cannot get his feelings under control you are moving on and he can just lollygag and stare at her for the rest of time. You are his girlfriend and he should be paying attention to you, not acting like a puppy dog with his tongue hanging out, around her. I am sure she knows how he feels and is very flattered to have two men adoring her being. That is not doing you any good. That is what I suggest, but be sure you are ready for what comes next, because your boyfriend, might just take you up on what you say and break up. That may be the outcome. I wish you well with the situation, but he is not treating you with respect and the more you allow him to act the way he is, he will not stop. Take care always, stay in touch. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): That would be a Negative There Good Buddy...I love my brothers dog Zena, and her personality, but when my husband walks into the room, I loose all my focus on the Zena the dog, and place it on my husband...That my sound strange, but we treat our dogs like humans in our family. I'm not sure he's in love, perhaps infatuated...either way, he needs to remove his head from the south end of a donkey, and love what he has with you...You are a very kind and compassionate person to stick with him for so long. All my prayers are with you. God Bless!!
...............................
|
