A
female
age
41-50,
*ee69
writes:Hi,Im back with my ex boyfriend a 4months now,we used to have great sex before but this time hes not interested in sex,he masturbates at least twice a day.he says the problem isnt me but if not what is?? he drinks most nights but that was never a prob before.he does want me to stay with him every nite even though we dont have sex...i dont know what to do,im getting pissed off really? help
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 July 2008):
Well I think this depends on why you go back together.
From what you say it wasn't a romantic lust driven reunion where you decided you couldn't live without each other. If it was then I don't think you'd be having this problem.
If it was more just that you care about each other, you know you work in a day to day living together routine, and you were both there and single at the time then it could be explained.
You need to figure out if he loves you in the way you want him to, or whether he just sees you as "wife material" friendly, easy to get along with, good cook, doesn't complain.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (2 July 2008):
 As usual I have to agree with "Ask oldersister" but, as a man, would suggest that your boyfriend not only has "psychological issues" but unless resolved soon, is no reliable long term mate material. Could possibly be wrong about it, but you would be well advised to tread onward carefully, acutely and wisely with this person. Best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Several things stand out. He was your ex, maybe something about your breakup is playing on his mind? Maybe he feels hurt or anxious about his performance in some way? Maybe he's comparing you to guys you might have date when you split up? I don't know the circumstances but this could be it.
He's drinking every night. Alcohol can serious lower his ability to perform with you. Maybe he thinks he won't be able to get an erection and is afraid to try?
As older sister has said, if he mastebates twice a day maybe he has no sexual desire left. Tell him he needs to stop. If he needs sexual relief, then he must come to you.
You and your guy need to sit down and have a serious talk about a lot of things. He likes having you around, that's great. But he needs to sort out his drinking and you need to find out why he keeps turning you away and masterbating instead. He must like sex, so what stops him from having sex with you?
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