A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I've had my suspicions for a while but always thought I was being paranoid and they were just good friends still and hang out in the same groups of friends.Last night he said he was out so i decided to sit outside his house and see who he came back with. The lights were on in his house but his car wasnt there... anyway cut a long story short by 11pm he still wasnt home but suddenly the lights went on upstairs. There was someone else in the house so i called the house and a grl answered!Im not sure now whether to just say never contact me again or whether to give him a chance to explain. I am seeing him later tonight but i dont want to say ive been sat outside, so what else can I say? I coul say someone has told me your seeing someelse still as we do live in the same town and live 2 streets away.Any advice would be great, i feel physically sick over this.... been together 9 months and the thought of him with someone else I cant even think of!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Still meet up with him, and confront him. You don't need to give details of how you know, unless you want to. You just need to watch his face.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): The fact that you sat outside his house all evening means you are beginning to act in a way I dare say you wouldn't normally do. He mustn't know you did this as he would find it a bit paranoid as you admit. Also when you get in your mindset it is easy to see something perfectly innocent as suspicious. Where do you go from here? Jealousy and suspicion can kill a relationship. I think you just have to talk to him about your fears in a rational controlled way. At some stage you need to trust him until proved otherwise.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 It all depends on how you truly feel about all of this. Are your content with telling him to never contact you again? It is quite understandable, just be sure.
If you let him explain, who is to say that he will not lie to you? After this, will your relationship with him ever be the same anyway? Without trust, you cannot continue a relationship and you clearly loved him quite deeply. What do his actions say about how much he loved you?
Personally I would let him explain. If he does not attempt to wash away all suspicions by devoting himself, I suggest you leave him because he is not trustworthy. Let him explain first before you do anything.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, someone to help +, writes (2 December 2010):
hiya, if you hope this relationship will last then top tip is dont over react. It could be anything it may just look bad , but to find out you need to be open an honest with him as he should be to you- if he has a good excuse he will tell you straight away best tip is to look at his body language if you want to pick him up on his lie then you have to be honest that you were outside, if he loves you enough he will tell you the truth back hun. Relationships are based on trust. This is my second peice of advice so hope it helps all the best ,
someone who can help xxx
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