A
female
age
22-25,
*uuuuu
writes:I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 15 tooWe been together for almost 6 month but sometimes when we just kissing and stuff he grabs my butt and stuff but in the beginning I would always take his hands away from my butt but know I kind of got use to it and sometimes it even feels good but I thing that know he is going a little to far cause when we making out he would sometimes try to put his hands down their and I don't feel comfortable about it I always say reject him and tell him to stop and he woyld be like trust me I won't do anything bad to you and you know that"
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2017): U are way to young avoid this guy.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 September 2017):
 His hormones are raging and he wants to explore your body. But you need to be strong and say no, if he doesn't listen get up and leave. No boy should ever push further than what you are comfortable with. If he does keep pushing then he is thinking more off himself that he is you. You will not enjoy it if you are not ready and comfortable. Be honest with him and tell him you are not ready and if he tries again he will have no girlfriend, you are probably his first girlfriend so you need to show him that he needs to respect you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (5 September 2017):
 Tell him just once "I can't be with you if you keep doing that. I'm not ready and I don't like that you keep trying anyway!" Then stick to public hang outs for a while.
He will continue pressuring you, as you gave in with the butt touching, and that's not okay for him to do. If he tries just once after you've told him the above, you need to break up with him permanently because boys need to respect you and he isn't.
Honey, if a boy tries to persuade you to do something you don't want to, and you don't set boundaries firmly, he will convince you and you'll regret it.
He doesn't care about you if he won't back off with the touching. Well done for being sensible enough to steer clear of sexual things for a while.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 September 2017):
 All of the aunts here are giving excellent advice. You will need this boundary-setting skill in order to navigate your teenage years as well as your adult years!
In particular, READ HONEYPIE'S post over and over. She outlines HOW to say no in different situations.
Youcannotbeserious's post as well suggests keeping dates to public places, and I fully agree. If you don't want his hands roaming to places, go to areas where he would never do that in public.
As for my own thoughts, it's crazy that we have age limits for driving, for drinking, for smoking, for voting, and for signing contracts because we know that emotional growth needs to happen, and maturity needs to be present before these activities are done, or there would be consequences that are far-reaching.
Nowhere is that more apparent than sex, that one activity for which even though there's an age of consent (16 in the UK, and 16-18 in the US depending on the state) for an adult to have sex with a minor, two minors getting alone and handsy is like giving a 3-year old a shotgun or a chainsaw or a live firecracker.
You have hormones, both you and especially him raging through him. Neither of you have the maturity or the experience to be dealing with either the sex itself, OR the possible repercussions.
I suggest to you to wait a couple of years before getting physical with a guy. You're 15. You may not believe it, but one year could make ALL the difference between screwing up and getting pregnant and being responsible enough to use birth control properly, not to mention being a lot more discerning about a partner that respects YOU and isn't just looking to use your body to get his hormones to rage a bit more.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2017): He is already doing something bad to you. He is going further than you are comfortable with and he knows it!HE will keep trying and trying to push you further and further and YOU have to know how to tell him NO!If you are not comfortable with what he is doing then you are the only one who can tell him so. If you feel unable to do this then you are not mature enough to be in a relationship. Most boys/men will try it on and you have to be able to say no or you could find yourself doing things you don't want to because you don't want to say no to him. Listen, you are allowed to be the one in control of your own body. He's lucky to have you at all. You have to learn to be firm or remain single until you can be. He will probably also think highly of you for knowing your own mind.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 September 2017):
 I agree with the two other posters, OP
YOU need to learn how to set boundaries. That means saying no to think you don't want to do. (and I'm not talking about saying no to your mother when she tells you to clean your room... OK?).
If you feel like he is going a bit too far for your taste you NEED to tell him. He isn't a mind reader and removing his hand isn't a bad thing for you to do, but BACK it up with a:"I'm not ready for this and I want you to ASK before touching me in places".
Just like with the butt touch, he kept doing it till you stopped moving his hand. In his mind, this means KEEP doing things till she allows it. Basically, no doesn't mean no (for him) it means KEEP doing it, eventually, she will give in... NOT what it should be - no means no.
If you can't even say where he is trying to put his hand, other than "down there", then you AREN'T ready for what he wants to do and you NEED to be able to express what you will accept and what you won't. Otherwise he will end up doing things to you/with you that you really didn't want to do putting you BOTH in a really bad position.
HE needs YOUR consent. YOU need HIS consent too.
SAY what you mean and mean what you say.
Start with learning how to say no.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 September 2017):
 I agree with the other poster : say no and mean no.
In fact, I think you need to be a bit more assertive, and to put your foot down. Tell him in no uncertain terms that next time he tries to push your boundaries,- there will be no more making out , no more gf in fact, and he's back to gold old self-love.
It's not a problem that " you can trust him because he'd never do anything bad to you ". That's possible, and he may be sincere in saying that ; although a 15 y.o. KID does not really know what's good what's bad , and you can't even " trust " them to know their exact home address and zip code
But even if he were a miracle of maturity, responsibility and self control, the problem is ... that his hearing does not work that well. Because NO means NO. "Stop it" means "stop it ". So, what part of NO did he not understand ?
Your body is yours and you decide it how you want to use it and within which limits. If you do not feel comfortable about being touched in a certain way, you do not even need to justify yourself or apologize. You body is telling you that, for whatever reason, you are not ready for that, and once- ok, make it twice- should be enough to convey that, and be heard.
He should not keep trying to push his luck, so let him know that ,if he goes on more,- he won't have any "luck " at all to speak of.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 September 2017):
 Trust your gut instinct. Say NO and mean NO if he is doing something which you don't want. NEVER allow him - or anyone else - to do something which you don't feel completely comfortable with. Your body is telling you that you are not yet ready for that sort of physical contact.
Once you let him do one thing, he will keep pushing the boundaries to do more. He is not yet old enough to know what is risky and what is not. Without even intending it, he could put you at risk.
Perhaps steering your dates towards spending more time with friends or in public places would be better than spending too much time alone if this is what he keeps trying to do?
...............................
|
