A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Im feeling rather worried :( Im afraid my boyfriend may be having second thoughts about me, but doesnt want to admit it or hurt me. He was the one who came to me and made the effort to ask me out, he was so sweet at first, he always used to put soppy status on facebook, my friends caught him romantically staring at me while i wasnt looking lots of times. We always used to put tons of kisses on each others messages and lots of hearts, he always used to tell me how gorgeous i was and tell me how much he liked me. Its also been ages since he said i love you. He doesnt seem to do none of that anymore. Im woundereing if hes having second thoughts, or regreting asking me out in the first place, however he has introduced me to his parents, and i dont get why he would do that if he wasn't serious or certain about me, i went round to his house yesterday and we watched a film, but that still hasn't stopped me worrying. He hasnt sent me a message all day. Am i worrying too much?
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female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (13 September 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou i need all the advice i can get x
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (12 September 2011):
 hi rebecca,
sorry to hear this, i know you feel terrible at the moment and you probably cannot imagine ever feeling any different but you will get over this, trust me. what you need to do is get out and about with your friends and family, plan fun things to do. it is always great to have things to look forward to that will fill your life. delete old messages he has sent to you, anything he bought you or that reminds you of him, either throw them away or pack them away were you will not constantly see them, get them out at a later date when you are not feeling so raw and then decide whether to bin them. delete him as a friend on facebook/my space. don't go back looking at his social network page, avoid places where you know he hangs around. don't listen to mutual friends if they want to gossip about him, just tell them you don't want to talk about him at the moment. little by little every day you will think about him less, so subtly you won't even notice it happening until one day you will catch your self realising that you have not thought about him all day!
you will come out of this stronger at the other end, knowing that broken hearts ARE possible to get over. see the positive in this break up - he could have strung you along, not loving you but keeping you anyway and not treating you well. this way he has actually set you free so you can meet someone who will think you are their everything
best wishes hun
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): hey it's okay I think you're worrying just a little bit too much. Men are notoriously bad in relationships doesn't mean we don't care it just means we're not wired the same way that females are.
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (10 September 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou, yes thease last few days without him have been horrible :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): So sorry for you,it's horrible isn't it? But gut instinct is normally right :(Give yourself time to get over it, cry, be angry, upset etc, but then you have to accept it, and when you meet someone else, which you will, and you will have a great time with I'm sure! x
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (9 September 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey were right :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): A woman's intuition is never wrong...
If you are feeling he's acting weird towards you, then he probably is, and your worst fears are probably right.
Sorry.
The only way to know for sure is to ask him.
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (7 September 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk i sent him a message asking him and he said he isnt sure about a few things and i asked what, and he said hes not sure if were working. :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): heyy, your in a reallly similar situaion i was in late last year and earlier in the year. sadly for me i ended up becoming dumped because despite being "in love with me " two weekes earlier he just didnt feel as strongly anymore. we did get back together however it only lasted a month because it was obvious to me the relationship meant more to me than him ... i did try talk to my ex about the feelings you are experiencing but after a week things just stayed the same and sadly i just couldnt go on with the relationship when it was just lacking . now months later we are still freinds and i do still have feelings but i cant see us getting back together s were off different collages. i really would recomend talking to him about it though and asking if he wants some space because you dont want the relationship to fizzle out . however i wil warn you as much a sthis is advised and a good thing through expreience and seeing this happen too many freinds i do find the moment men get freedom and spavce from their girlfreind .. they come back saying they dont feel the same anymore :/ so it leaves women in an awkward position and still to this day i dont ever understand what my ex wanted . hope it all works out though and reply :)
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (6 September 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou x
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (5 September 2011):
its normal for people to be less attentive when they have been together for some time. when you first met he was all about impressing you and charming you, now he is more relaxed and sure about the relationship he does not feel the need to make so much of an effort. talk to him about it though
x
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A
female
reader, StormySeas  +, writes (5 September 2011):
It just does not seem fair that all of these worries have to come with a relationship. I am twice your age and still find myself worrying about the same things. It can really be sickening,literally, to carry around so much worry. And, I really believe that being woman... we are just destined to second guess ourselves, which in turn, makes us question how others view us. You need to find a way to get yourself into a "happy place." I love to blast my music and sing to the top of my lungs, or...weird as it sounds, clean my house. You may be thinking.. "okay, old lady...bla bla bla.." but hear me out. When we do something that makes us feel better, sometimes...just sometimes... we can think more clearly. Perhaps, having some serious "you time" will help you to look from outside the box. Talking to him is of course an option, and really important, but it's also important that you think clearly before you blurt out everything in your heart (this is where the "you-time" helps). Not all guys are the same, but in my experience.... I have sometimes been so incredibly sick with worry over something that never even entered their mind. Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone in the world of female worries... Take good care!! :)
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