| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am an unattractive girl, who is also very insecure. I just lost my boyfriend to this. He got fed up with the fact that I always felt insecure about better looking girls. He always told me it didn't matter and that he loved me. Yet, he also said that girls on TV were hotter, but that is because it's their job, but still it stuck with me and I was always anxious when we watched TV and some naked woman with big boobs and small waist appeared that he'd be thinking she was hotter than me.Where I live the culture is heavily male dominated so on TV there are always these kind of women, bikini clad usually, doing nothing good, just showing off their implants and fake tans. And it's summer now, so it's worse.My body, well I'm not fat but I have small breasts and my face is ugly. Also, I saw on a website (www.femininebeauty.info) that I'm quite masculine looking.He dumped me and now I feel sick every time I watch TV and because I lost the man I loved. I can't stand my body. He said it's over and that he's angry because he wasted two years of his life with me, that he had plans but now I ruined it because he can't be with a person who is so insecure and hates herself so much. Ouch. I only felt bad because I wanted him to have the best. And clearly I don't have it, if he thinks those women look better. and you can't Photoshop TV right? So they are real, not airbrushed. I feel very inferior.How can an unattractive woman deal with this and also find love again, and not care if her boyfriend thinks these women have better bodies? My self esteem is currently at an all time low.
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male
reader, xanx  +, writes (20 July 2009):
Sounds like you've been with the wrong person who didn't respect you. I believe your ex had contributed to you feeling insecure, by telling you that women on tv are "hotter" than you. If he thought so, he had no business wasting your time on himself. The second he said it, you should have dumped him.He sounds like a total loser. Having a girlfriend and watching some slutty women on television and commenting that they're 'hotter'? Pretty much a douche, you should be glad you got rid of him and free to find someone better for you.Yep, society is heavily male-dominated, it objectifies and degrades women in all possible ways. Even if you are masculine, whats wrong with that?? If you're masculine, you should be happy, cause masculinity often means more strength, etc. You are unique. As to tv, I don't even own it, the box is full of crap and brainwashing.How about you get a tougher attitude rather than being depended on the opinions of men? If you don't want the society to be male-dominated, do a favor--stop being so concerned of what certain type of men think and if you appear "attractive" to their stupid, tv-inspired tastes. Have a career, have an exciting life, hobbies, realize your friends can give a lot to you--and a man, he'll have to prove to be *good enough* to fit into your interesting and full life first and be good, uplifting and inspiring enough for You. And stop browsing interenet for "proofs" that you're not "feminine enough", etc; internet is full of things to cater to males--like porn and degrading fake websites like femininebeaty.com. You hit a jackpot by being freed from a loser boyfriend who couldn't appreciate you and put you down, this should be a lesson for you how to recognize the type of person who is not right for you.
A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (13 January 2009):
 Whoa, whoa! A website told you that you were more masculine looking?
There is A LOT of disinformation of the Internet, don't believe it (e.g. Wikipedia). Have confidence in who you are! Confidence is very attractive. You just have to tell yourself that society lies and you are beautiful in your own way. Looks aren't everything; I dated a girl who most wouldn't call attractive but she was VERY intelligent.
And as said before, beauty is a perspective thing too, not every guy wants some toned busty blonde.
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A
female
reader, sheribaby38 +, writes (13 January 2009):
 its not because you are so unattractive. he is with you so he must be attracted to you.beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyways. those fake hollywood types make me sick because the average looking woman can not look like them. they have a team of people working on them for photos and then they have high tech photo shop people making them look better on top of that. besides that they go to plastic surgeons and pay alot of money to look like that. dont compare yourself to fake poeple. trust me they were not born that gorgouce!! be proud of who you are !! you are beautiful!! i want you to look in the morror and tell yourself you are beautiful and listen to christina aguilaras song. believe you are beautiful and the rest of the world will believe it too!! good luck!
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