A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey there. I am very confused and dunno what to do. My first love and I went out for nearly 6 years, it started out really well, we got engaged after 3 years and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. But things changed. We are different religions and my family didnt know, and he was pressuring me to choose, him or them, which really upset me. My family are very strict and hold religion important and they wud never speak to me if they knew he was opposite.My best friend had a real problem with him, reckoned he didnt treat me right or deserve me and I wasnt happy. Another friend who I took advice from, later told me he was in love with me. But anyway they both told me I was better to leave him. My boyfriend and I argued a lot cos I thought I wasnt happy. Then I left him and moved country. I went wild for a period as I couldnt stop thinking about him, got drunk a lot to forget and ended up doing things I wasnt proud of. Then on my birthday in october I started seeing a guy that I had known for years (he was a friend of my ex's), He is great, we are still together and now live together but my best friend refuses to speak to me cos I've found someone, which I really dont understand.I do love him and am so happy but I cant help still thinking about my ex and wonder if we would still be together now if it wasnt for the advice of my friends and knowing that my family would disown me if they knew the truth. That made it easier for to leave him. We are still in contact, although minimal. I dunno what to do, I cant stop thinking about him. Please advise me if you can.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 hello
i am sorry for you , and "if "wont bring the past into your present and it might be that your ex has another one now
so life go on take care of your self and try to make your life better by thinking of now ,and you never know what "if"will bring to you and if is a wish and to 80%dosent come tru.
good luck
A
male
reader, sean90 +, writes (28 March 2007):
Hi i know exactly how you feel i am in the same situation, I met a a girl i really liked very much, she chased me and i everntually went out with her. It lasted about 6 Months, first she finsihed with me and then i her, but then i regaretted it.
Its been 2 years now, but last september she moved to Spain and i Emailed her hopeing things work out for her, i said i still love her and care for her very much, said i would do anything to get her back. But i said i think its time i moved on because i think you dont feel the same.
3 months ago i heard she moved back to England, well 2 weeks ago she phoned me, not on the phone long. Its stared up my emotions again. Thinking she still likes me. Its hard you just dont know what to do, dont want to be hurt again so too scared to persue it,
I know its not what you was expecting but thought you as a girl could give me advice, I thought by saying move on she would leave me alone, she never mailed me back so she does not still like me but then why phone me? and why keep my number.
Sean
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Yeah, I understood that you are very confused.
Problem is that you have commitments that are in conflict with each other.
Family wanting you to become a part of the Community you were raised in.
Your ex pressuring you to choose, him or them, which really upset you.
Best friend having a real problem with him and probably feeling jealous.
A friend of ex's: "I do love him and am so happy" - are these really your words?
I can't hear your own voice in what you write - YOU gotta make decisions in your life.
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