A
male
age
51-59,
*anaja
writes:Hi 6 months ago i broke up with a lady she went back to her ex boyfriend, they have since split up , she had been seeing him behind my back, i was with her only a couple of months , i had dated her before 3 years ago for 5 months and she did the same then, dumped me and went back to him 2 and a half years later, may this year, she got in touch with me(foolishly i gave her the benefit of the doubt)dated her and she dumped me again. I decided that this time she wasnt worth crying over like I did do 3 years ago, then it took me 18 months to get right from it , she really hurt me ,i fell so hard for her, so this time a month after she finished with me(she didnt, she just never bothered getting in touch) i met someone else who i have been seeing for 5 months , although at first i thought i could be on rebound, i decided to be honest with my new girlfriend and tell her everything , weve taken it very slow, were still dating and so far so good. I still have days when i think about my ex, i still come on this site , read the stories and comment. Now ive made a decision, am i right ?... please read on... friend of mine is friends with the guy my ex left me for ,they had a on off relationship for years , right now he's not with her, he's with some one else, but they still text, my friend says i should meet up with him , because he seems to think we'l get along, he's been suggesting this to the other guy as well, he said no problem as long as we dont end up fighting, i rang my friend who was out with this guy and told him i wont end up fighting , but might have a beer with him at some point, all was cool, till i asked him why he'd been calling me names and slagging me off to her when they got back together, he then decided to tell me that he'd been seeing her while she was with me anyway, i told him i have no issues with that anymore, i said i knew that because i had seen her in the car with him and i said "thats because she's a slag !" moments later i regretted saying this,knowing he'l text her and tell her, it was reactionary of me, he also said "stuff needs sorting out" i told him there nothing to sort out anymore as its all in the past and thats where its staying, i spoke to my girlfriend and told her what had happened i also told her that im not going to meet this guy as there is no point, he doesnt like the fact that on 2 occasions his ex girlfriend finished with him , she chose to see me, Im not going to meet this guy , theres no point , if my friend want to drink with him , thats up to him, but i do think am i backing down from him by not meeting him, to be honest i wouldnt want to spend the evening talking about my ex, i did tell him on the phone that she was very negative about him when she spoke mentioned him , i think he wants to know what she said, i just cant be bothered with it all, also i become reactionary once calling her a "slag" a few drinks may inflame things i also dont want to dwell on the past an have it interfere with my relationship with my current girlfriend , who did say my friend should not try to get us out together as its nothing to do with him and that it could come between us, which is something i dont want, i know she loves me very much, i do regret calling her my ex a slag on the phone to her ex, he'l of text her and she'l now knows it still winds me up the way she treated me. Any advice would be helpfull.
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broke up, ex girlfriend, got back together, her ex, his ex, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Don't meet him - you'll regret it!
A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (28 December 2009):
 If you don't care for this ex of yours then don't bother meeting her ex or whatever he is. What's there to say to eachother? If you do meet him, whatever happens, it will make it harder for you to forget her as you might end up in a fight or even start to like her again.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 You told this man that "it's all in the past, and that's where it's staying." You hit the nail on the head.
Much as this woman hurt and betrayed you numerous times, she's history so far as you are concerned.
What could meeting him possibly accomplish except to rehash the past and maybe open up old wounds. Anyway, what on earth does your friend want to get you two to meet for? Sounds like he may have a bit of morbid (how about "ghoulish"?) interest......
So yes, you made the right decision!
So yes, I do think your decision not to meet this man is the right thing to do.
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